Comments on The Peaceful Self.com: Bridging the Chasm of Egocentric Alienation

"is there anyway to make going about this any...

2011-10-19T20:41:04.810-04:00

"is there anyway to make going about this any easier? or do you have to just go for it, even if you feel like you might be crippled by your fear and doubt and fall into utter despair + loneliness."

yes, I'm afraid that's pretty much it. Egos learn through experience.
Psychology calls it "desensitization training," but that usually relates to overcoming phobias.
But soon you begin to wonder what you were afraid of for so long and what you were trying to protect from. You become desensitized to fear and start to more fully engage others and your world. Yet, once you begin making little leaps, the momentum of it just sucks you in.

Thanks,
mikeS

I feel like this applies to my life quite well. A...

2011-10-19T13:13:57.302-04:00

I feel like this applies to my life quite well. Although i'm always thinking it'll be too hard/scary (to be completely honest) and spend time trying to make it more bearable to begin to do. I imagine it as a one time conversation and wonder how i would even bring things up, but then i think i'd probably have to be an ongoing thing over time. is there anyway to make going about this any easier? or do you have to just go for it, even if you feel like you might be crippled by your fear and doubt and fall into utter despair + loneliness.

Hi Barbara, I too am coming late to the idea that...

2009-12-11T17:51:49.898-05:00

Hi Barbara,

I too am coming late to the idea that I need to be more aware of the directions I was taught...

...and go the opposite way...

Thanks!
mikeS

Hi Mike, The temptation to make light of the idea...

2009-12-11T15:20:42.534-05:00

Hi Mike,

The temptation to make light of the idea "sharing our suffering" was great. I'm always up for a good laugh. However, I'm going to take a different road today.

It is only now in my life, what I often see as very, very late, I am sharing my suffering and experiencing the opposite benefit you mentioned in an earlier comment. Needed to acknowledge its importance, maybe life saving importance.

TY for another affecting and effective article.

Barbara

Nahnni, "The dilemma, of course, is that at ...

2009-12-09T11:19:21.990-05:00

Nahnni,

"The dilemma, of course, is that at a very, very early age, we are given the double-edged sword of honesty v. keeping thoughts to oneself, lest someone be offended, hurt, uncomfortable, exposed, prideful, and so forth and so on."

Exactly! We have been conditioned to lock the self away, to the point that, in not sharing for fear of consequences, we come to even doubt the interior experience we call "I."

"I think people are beaten down by almost brutal dishonesty, by agenda, by betrayal of trust. We become martyrs to dishonesty for fear of confrontation, from ourselves, from others."

Yes and the world we experience becomes nothing but seemingly endless hypocrisy.

"Trust and honesty are equal measures. I think we hide our vulnerability because we fear the scales might tip if we are not attentive. In fear of loneliness, we sacrifice the balance in order to remain visible, if even superficially."

Yes! Our superficiality is very visible and has become the norm.

"To be authentic within a relationship, with equal honesty and trust, I think people want that, at least in theory, but they fear it more than realizing it to be possible. So, they wear many masks, even from the beginning."

Yes and maybe "awakening" is nothing more than finally meeting someone who you never need wear a "mask" for.

"I realize I am terribly cynical."

Ha! join the club. However, cynicism is a game like any other, so no need to take it seriously.

Thanks!
mikeS

No One, "The phenomenon you describe carries...

2009-12-09T11:07:32.166-05:00

No One,

"The phenomenon you describe carries with it the inability, or at least extreme reluctance, of some egos to bear uncomfortable feelings. They're bearable! But not too many egos believe it."

Indeed, they are "bearable." But, we not only hide the feelings from others, but the ego seeks to hide them from the itself, since the ego-self is a compartmentalizing wizard.

Nevertheless, the ego seems to believe that if it suffers in private, it will not alienate others. Unfortunately, this seems to have the reverse effect.

Maybe if we deeply engage together in our 'solitary sufferings' we will dissolve them, particularly if alienation is really all that we suffer from. Why fear suffering? Why not share it?

Unfortunately, suffering is not in style, so we avoid sharing it...

Thanks!
mikeS

This is a great post. The dilemma, of course, is ...

2009-12-08T01:00:19.664-05:00

This is a great post. The dilemma, of course, is that at a very, very early age, we are given the double-edged sword of honesty v. keeping thoughts to oneself, lest someone be offended, hurt, uncomfortable, exposed, prideful, and so forth and so on. There is always risk and we are warned externally, therefore internally, from the onset from the consequences of truth or dare...of the risk we face in being trusting, being honest.

I think people are beaten down by almost brutal dishonesty, by agenda, by betrayal of trust. We become martyrs to dishonesty for fear of confrontation, from ourselves, from others. Trust and honesty are equal measures. I think we hide our vulnerability because we fear the scales might tip if we are not attentive. In fear of loneliness, we sacrifice the balance in order to remain visible, if even superficially.

To be authentic within a relationship, with equal honesty and trust, I think people want that, at least in theory, but they fear it more than realizing it to be possible. So, they wear many masks, even from the beginning.

I realize I am terribly cynical.

Blessings~

The phenomenon you describe carries with it the in...

2009-12-08T00:25:26.274-05:00

The phenomenon you describe carries with it the inability, or at least extreme reluctance, of some egos to bear uncomfortable feelings. They're bearable! But not too many egos believe it.