Thursday, April 26, 2012

Egocentric Absurdus Absentis Consilium

"Imagining living in a universe without purpose may prepare us to better face reality head on. I cannot see that this is such a bad thing. Living in a strange and remarkable universe that is the way it is, independent of our desires and hopes, is far more satisfying for me than living in a fairy-tale universe invented to justify our existence." LINK

Truth has no rules (other than being true) simply because it has NO limitations and that which has NO limitations cannot have egocentric 'purpose' (every purpose is egocentrically generated and defined otherwise you wouldn't know of it). Limitation is nothing more than an egocentric interpretation that unconsciously seeks to avoid, at all costs, the naggingly omnipresent possibility that it is has NO purpose. Hence, ego-self just keeps inventing limitations to define what it can never possibly understand.

Therefore, the first rule of egocentricity is that truth(s) must have limits that define its purpose(s). The second rule is that “I" am an individual that can ONLY perceive truth through the filter of limited purposes. Hence, this leads to the third and final rule of egocentricity which is that some individual egocentricles have "truth," while others do not, because some have less limitations in the growing realization that they have no purpose.The fear is that to fully realize absolute purposelessness, right straight through to its hollow center, would be the death of "you."

Alas, complete purposelessness, or 'consilium absentia,' tends to creep up on you until one day it totally overwhelms you. But you can't make it happen, because that which exists to devise purposes for which to know it exists cannot possibly be purposeless on its own.

However, until that Magic Moment, there must be limits to every game an ego plays because ALL egocentricles play games in order to define their purpose. Games are played within limits and require rules, because rules define purpose. Your purpose has always been to follow the rules (any rules).

Egocentricity believes that without rules "you" would drown in a purposeless sea of undulating green phlegmy plasma.

But one day you realize a sense of purposelessness and begin to consider transcending egocentric games. Which only generates more rules, because "you" (rule No. 2) keep looking for the Master Rule Maker (rule No. 3) which itself is a finite game with limits (rule No. 1). You seek The One who will charitably bestow upon you the necessary rules required to achieve your ego transcendent "awakening."

And there’s plenty of Master Rule Makers out there. You can go with Adyashanti or the mysterious Jed McKenna. Or how about Osho or maybe Tolle or Wilber. Why not Maharshi or Nisargadatta? You can jump on any band wagon you please. Maybe Advaita or Zen or Sufism or A Course in Miracles. Engage the heavy hitters like Buddha, Christ or Lao-Tzu.

But, eventually, when you microscopically examine all the Master Rule Makers and their master rule books, you’ll see that the rules have but one purpose and that is to engender some form of limitation. The rules are meaningless and simply do not matter to truth which has never been "perceived" through limitation (since the purpose of perception is to "see" the boundaries and limitations). So, if none of the rules matter, what rules should you follow?

If it really doesn't matter, why not make up your own?

You may find that it is impossible to live in a dream-state without rules and when you fail to follow rules you get stressed-out. To be rule-less in a reality surrounded by rule-lovers can be hard to get used to. So you'll have to follow some of the rules but with the understanding that you have a choice (while those around you may not yet have achieved that recognition)

Besides, egocentricles are not looking to wake from the dream (and no longer be egocentric-ish). They just want to be "happy" (with better sex and more money, yo!)

It’s your dream. So go ahead and make up your own rules. They all did.

Rules ALWAYS prescribe a method to an outcome, a means to an end. Rules literally assert necessarius finium (necessary boundaries). Maybe you should get jiggy with truth being an unnecessary outcome. But this would mean you can't control it through any rules you extract from somebody's rule book.

Ultimately, everyone goes their own way, because nothing is necessary except what you say (and usually what you say you learned MUST be said, which one day you'll see as complete hogwash). Choices made out of necessity must of necessity fail to sustain, simply because they are founded on a dream being “real.” Does it matter what choice you make, if all choices “you” make are unnecessary? Why choose at all if it makes no difference to future choices, since every choice only asserts an unnecessary past choice as guide? Why go backward?

When you feel the desire to choose arising from some purpose, try making no decision and wait for an answer. Don't decide how the answer will come to you and don’t even expect it to come as a thought, feeling or intuition. Only be certain that it will come and just prepare yourself to receive. Make no mistake, if you are waiting for the answer you demand, you will not recognize what’s offered, because you've shut it out by demanding it comply with your RULES.

And just cause it doesn't fit the Master Rule Book, doesn't mean it wasn't FOR you (Haha!)

In the game of "enlightenment," rules are a necessity to egocentricle players. But it’s only a game and you are free to play by any rules you choose. If you can’t get all comfy cozy with one set of rules, try another.

Maybe one day you will be rule-less, completely unfettered and liberated from all rule books, swimming in an ocean of "choiceless awareness" (I like the term, but forget which rulebook it came outa), which has no purpose whatsoever.

But that scares the sheit outa you....

Artwork by Femme Arbre - "Monster"

Monday, April 9, 2012

The Fook-it Koan (and gettin' Jiggy with the flow)

This kinda 'fuck it' is not defeated (which is why I like to change the spelling). It can't really be talked about either (at least to those who 'care'). But fook-it does not resist or reject, because it's expansive even when painfully contracted beyond all recognition. It's kinda like bawling your eyes out in despair, but the whole time you're, simultaneously, having a good belly laugh (well...kind of).

When you emancipate from the dream, you simply say "fook-it" and keep on dreamin.'

And now you can fook-it with an amusing elegance and deep-spirited pizzazz. You can finally ride the dream-wave and not care about some silly arse "metaphysical" origin or god-hoodie, non-dualistic-ey, rotting carcass of historically conceptual bull-poop.

None of that matters when you get all jiggy with how the dream flows.

"Therefore, send not to know
For whom the dream flows,
It flows for thee."

Fook it doesn't mean you don't care, cause "care" is a conceptual turd blossom of egocentric understanding and so, obviously at this point, you don't care, but just not like you don't care (make sense? not to worry, you'll be groking it soon enough). Just keep asking your self: "how can I 'care,' as if I don't care, but is still caring, even when it isn't and I don't, but really do?" Or "How can I be happy in my suffering, while still continuing to suffer over how happy I am?" (much easier). You can devise all kinds of Fook-It Koans and, believe me, they're loads of fun at parties. All your friends will laugh out loud, because they make absolutely no sense...

...except to you (and you laugh the loudest).

It's an amusing paradoxical conundrum of ineffable proportions, because the only purpose of a dream is to design a 'self' that fits it. A 'self' that conforms to the parameters of dreaming it has purpose and meaning. You believe the "world" taught you, while all along you taught the world what to teach.

Now I realize some of you are reading this thinking, "what kinda of vomitous drivel is this?" Although, others of you are unloading a good chuckle, in recollection of the very moment you emancipated from the dream with a silent, but deadly, "fook-it."

Nobody else would possibly understand what hit ya, after all those years of egocentric gritting and grinding over all that rock hard conceptual candy you've been crunchin' down on all those years from your "gurus" and "masters." It tastes good to egocentricity, but has yet to fill you up (tastes great, less filling!).

Then, one day outa the blue, and you don't even know from whence it came nor how it came up outa you, you just breathed a long deep sigh of relief, looked around and quietly exclaimed (to yourself) "wow... fook-it..." and nothing ever seemed the same again. It was done (and so were "you")

Of course, egocentricity did not like that one bit and you were certainly lectured for your impudence (still to this day!). But even with that, you respond with a fook-it, while weaing your sheit-eating grin. No, not a fuck it, but a fook it. A 'fuck it' just pisses "you" off and that only means you 'care,' which clearly negates fook-it, cause you couldn't care less, but now care more, while NOT giving a sheit at all, whatsoever.

But don't worry if you've not yet emancipated from the dream.

Fook that too!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Planned Obsolesence: When the Spirit Moves Me (and not one moment before)

I like the saying, "when the spirit moves me" cause that tends to be my modus operandi. Most peeps feel this is lazy or irresponsible, so indebted to 'control' as they are, but it does assert that I don't have a fooking clue as to what "I-me" should be doing, as opposed to all the ones who 'know.'

Yet, I'm continuously informed that ego-self will have none of that, gritting and grinding over "necessary" junk, reminding you "yea, go ahead and say that to your boss, ha!"

Egocentricity, or that tightly contained box of beliefs "you" call "I-me," likes to churn out all kinds of projects through which to "self-actualize."

But those projects aren't really useless cause you do need to perpetuate the belief that  "you" exist and that's basically the only purpose they serve.

Nevertheless, your egocentricity is nothing more than a "Planned Obsolescence." Like any artificially designed product, it will break down when the warranty runs out. Luckily, you are approaching that infamous end-date. But note how rigidly you seek to avoid your own "obsolescence." Note how important it is that you continue to be "you."

Let's face it, you can only hold off so long before it all becomes laughingly ridiculous.

Self-actualization is merely the process of continuing to believe "you" exist (with apologies to Maslow). You have to do all kinds of self-actualizing crapola everyday because, when you really examine it closely, existence is such a weak and tenuous idea (although you take it as a given). Other than your body, you really have no other concrete reference point. No other 'physical' actuality to "I-me." Nothing more to stake a claim on other than a scripted mass of dramatic bullsheit that you claim "important" stuff to your "life."

Everyday ego-self has to do things to confirm itself as a real "self" (or something as opposed to nothing). Constant struggle and hard work is needed to affirm the "I-me" concept, but you call it normal everyday functioning. Like getting angry, bored, tired, cheerful, depressed, happy, sick, indignant, peaceful, wired, wigged-out, harmonious, freaky, goofy, spontaneous, thoughtful, compassionate, friendly, loving, resentful, etc, etc, etc. These states of being are your "gravity." They keep you grounded into an "I-me" reference point, but have no other usefulness than that, regardless of your dramatic boo-hooing in protection of the self.

Then there's the work of justifying the rightness and wrongness, or good and bad, of what it's choosing as a means of self-actualizing in the moment. Like a few minutes ago my boss pissed me off and, obviously, I have every 'reason' to justify my pissed-offness! And this confirms, not that "I AM," but that I AM... 'pissed-off!' This reliance on 'emotion' helps me 'hammer down' the I Am as an I something.

Ahhh...egocentricity in all it's grandiose, ridiculous glory! Are you NOT laughing yet? Of course not! That would spell your doom...

Ego-self doesn't consider it's anger or pissed-offness as self-actualizing. Rather, it believes peace and kumbaya "happy" are self-actualizing. But, every time you jet out your rage, on some violator of your kumbaya, you're self-actualizing. Every instance of rage or resentment, or whatever, is another instance of egocentricity asserting a "self' into the  blank ether of nothingness as a means of achieving somethingness, even though nothingness doesn't budge an inch and couldn't care less what something your fixated on as a means of defining yourself.

Just because ego-self doesn't see it this way don't mean squat to the self-actualization and self-development you thrust upon the world and 'others' on a daily basis. It's all self-actualizing, no matter what comes out your mouth or rolls around in your head. "Fuck you!" is as self-actualizing to egocentricity as "I love you." Both have the same purpose. Both are nothing more than insubstantial attempts to assert the "I-me-mine" as "real." It makes no difference if it's actually true, since just the act of injecting a "self" into your mind makes it true for "you" (which has NO truth to it whatsoever, since you make up all kinds of bullsheit in your mind). Therefore, your "I love you" is as tenuous and inconsequential as "fuck you!" They both serve as means of self-actualizing, but have no other value to an ego-self.

This is the primordial fact of egocentricity. Doesn't matter what you inject, as long as you're injecting something into nothing, because there can never be just nothing.

To realize nothing would obviously be the death of you. So you fully engage space/time as a means of actualizing emptiness. You jack your "self' up all over the damn place, hoping 'something' will finally grant you some semblance of peace and happiness. But one day you will be slapped squarely in the face with the fact that nothing does or ever will.

You're on your own Bubba louey!

So go ahead and try injecting 'nothing' into all those special 'somethings' that you hold so dear. Nope, won't work.

You can't do it can you?

Keep trying....

Artwork by Ricardo Salmanca - "untitled"