Sunday, August 14, 2011
Because it thought that even this was just another distraction.
But now the realization that none of it matters, that none of it ever mattered, is like a prizefighter shot to the gut. Some never recover and remain at the border, refusing to accept the guide.
They plummet into abject, utter loneliness and howl at nothing.
Very few ever cross over to the other side. But, once at the border, there is no turning back. There’s nothing to go back to once you get to the border.
There is a guide waiting. There's always a guide at the border. You just need to reach out, while letting go.
Fear of sacrifice keeps you at the border. Hold to one tiny strand and you'll remain there. Some have been there a lifetime or more.
The ego thought this was just another game. Just more rules to follow.
But then it dawns on you that this is it. This is where you're supposed to be.
At the border.
Many claim to have crossed over. They will even claim to be your guide.
There are no guides IN the world to help you cross the border.
But there's always a guide at the border.
I’m there now.
Been so for quite some time. There are others with me. I can see them.
Sometimes we look at each other, as if waiting to see who'll move first. One day we will cross. One day we'll be guided. One day, when we no longer feel the sacrifice.
Maybe we’ll all cross together.
Artwork by Fred Weidmann - "Evolution Without Goal"
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Is it exclusively yours? Do the thoughts in your head really belong only to you?
Or did the world assign you everything you THINK?
If the beliefs about your ‘self,’ that you hold so dear to heart as being “you,” were extracted from a “world” outside your head, do “you” really exist in any individualized separate sense? Are “you” really there, or just a carbonized facsimile of you-ness, that we all represent?
The egocentric self-concept is only a belief in a separate individual existence. It is an abstraction and of no real concern whatsoever. But what comes as a result of that belief is a cascade of subsequent supporting beliefs ALL extracted from a “world.” These thoughts never stop hammering on you, moment to moment, day by day, year by year. Nevertheless, you have accepted this as “normal” and each day you become more and more desensitized through the chronic, incessant self-defining reinforcement of your egocentric, self-actualizing grandiosity.
“I think, therefore I am” originated from the world. You seem to know that you CAN think, but the thoughts you think are entirely owned by your world. You just THINK they’re yours (a belief that is also product of the world).
NOT one thought in your head can be traced and identified as purely and exclusively belonging to you. You’re a ‘nobody’ desiring authentication as a somebody through a MIND defined by the THINKER as “genuine.” But you will never become genuine in your world, because the world DEFINED YOU.
How can what is NOT genuine be REAL?
What you really claim as “unique” is the way you magically string thoughts together into “beliefs.” The Theory of Relativity was strung together by Einstein, but it was available to every mind, because every mind believes it's victim to the same world. Merely stringing together extracted thoughts to construct into a belief system is not in itself authentic. More like chronic repetition...
The world has always OWNED your mind and you have spent the entirety of your life seeking freedom from that bondage.
Some have sought to seclude themselves from the world. But in the MIND, even that is a product of the world. You could “live off the land,” but the "land" determines your existence, not you. Others attempt to associate to more profound “concepts” or beliefs, such as spiritual or religious ideologies or accepted scientific theories. Alas, this too, is provided by the world and is only a more subtle form of bondage, seemingly “right” on the outside, but still no actual depletion of suffering on the inside. Some seek freedom through meditation, but the egocentric self-concept, constructed FROM the world, does not really want to leave the world. It wants to become ruler of the world through ever greater CONTROL.
It would seem that there is NO escape from the claim that the world has staked on your mind and so you admit defeat and relent to the pressure. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Hence, you adopt the finite goals and objectives the world assigns, thinking all along that you’ve made up your own mind in denial of how impossible that really is. Ha!
Never forget that the body and all its senses are as much a part of the world as anything else you experience. Your mind is the only part of you with the potential for freedom and nothing else can ever be free.
Yet, the one who plays infinitely in the world, seems to have found a way to break loose from the claim of ownership that the world has staked upon his/her mind (however, keep in mind that this is merely speculative and limited to what I have learned so far through direct interaction and indirect observation and is open to criticism and future correction. Not an infinite player, I am merely a student).
What the body does means little to the infinite player. Yet, no longer is there concern for what the mind THINKS either. The infinite player is NOT owned by the thoughts in his/her head. Correct and incorrect choices are made, but do not seem to matter as correct or incorrect. They care, and often show great concern, but this lacks the demands of the self. Although they do what finite players do and participate in the same functions, they are often seen as odd to finite players.
Interacting with infinite players has shown me that, if you examine your thinking, you’ll see that every thought is associated to an outcome and every outcome is directly related to the world. The infinite player seems to have somehow re-routed this circuitry or transcended it totally.
Nevertheless, they give me so little to go on, since the actions seem no different than the rest of the world. They do what we do. Yet, they don’t THINK about it the way we do and, hence, fail to suffer like we do. In fact, amazingly, they seem to suffer not at all.
It would seem that the world has lost all claim to the MIND of the infinite player. But they do NOT talk about it and, hence, finite players, such as you or I, are unable to define their ways. Hence, we just don't see them at all. How can you see CLEARLY what you don't understand? But they are most definitely there.
Nevertheless, I must continue to try. Have these individuals found a way to be IN the world and not OF it? Are their numbers growing? Why do they not suffer as we do? Why will they not expose themselves and help us all? Or have they been showing themselves to us all along, unbeknownst to us? Why is it so difficult to see them? Do they generate fear in the finite player, stuck on the treadmill of egocentric games?
As you can see, I have been intently studying this for some time and I seem no closer to a definitive answer.
I would ask anyone with information pertaining to the nature of infinite play to please post your comments for publication on this blog. All comments are published in the comment section (even the nasty ones), but those most insightful will be published in the essay section as a post.
As a mere suffering mortal, I am becoming more desperate to learn how to play infinitely in this finite world.
I am beginning to recognize that there are “people” in this world who have transcended all suffering without attachment or association to any esoteric practices or ideologies. They are no more Christian than Buddhist, neither Muslim or Jew, Hindu or atheist. They work in the world and do all the things we do, yet somehow…
…their minds are NOT owned by the world.
Artwork by Brian Smith - "Forever"
Monday, August 8, 2011
Do you find this blog to sometimes make sense?
Fear NOT silly finite “human”!
You are NOT ALONE…
These are merely signs of your growing desire to play infinitely in the EGO’S finite games of fulfillment.
But the ego-self, that you’ve relied on to teach you what “you” and the "world" are all about, fights desperately to maintain your SERIOUS allegiance to all the things it demands as MEANINGFUL.
After all these years of independent “self-reliance” (sometimes to the point of desperation) do you really think “you” will give up without a fight?
And now, my friends, because you’ve worked so hard all these years, in your serious self-development, it seems a pity to finally see it ALL as a complete waste of time.
But pointlessness is obviously the final culmination of all your life's work.
All those years of education, all those career promotions, all those loving relationships, and here you are, still plugging away at extracting some sense of fulfillment, some consistent sense of “happiness.” Not to mention your years of diligent exercise, eating right, spiritual mediation, and just doing the “right thing.”
Yet, you never really seem any happier or less stressed. You never really seem to become anybody, but what YOU ARE.
And sometimes, in the wee small hours of the night, just before waking to start your “work day”…
…you consider just how absurd your existence really is.
Nothing has ever really changed and your disappointments have been mounting like a pile of nuts in a squirrel hole. Love eludes you and “happiness” is a fairy tale told by an idiot (and now, just look at the fooked up “economy,” threatening to dissolve all your hard work into nothing but a column of negative numbers on a piece of paper).
Have you had enough yet?
You can’t stop playing the world’s ego-games (because nobody can be an ego-self and NOT play ego-games). But you can learn to play them differently. You can learn to surrender self-fulfillment and discard your desire for the "right" outcomes and results. Because all that never really never mattered anyway.
Let’s face it, the ego-self (or package of beliefs you consider “you”) can never achieve fulfillment, simply because it is only a PART of your mind. Fulfillment is a delusion of the part that has lost contact with the whole. And isn’t that exactly what your world symbolizes? isn't that what you see when you look out your eyeballs?
The ego will desperately chase its dreams of fulfillment. It will pursue its “happiness.” It will never stop trying to find “love.”
But IT will never find what IT is looking for…simply because it can't.
It was NOT programmed to find, but only to seek and seek and seek, on and on and on, seemingly ad infinitum, until, after years of exhausted depletion, the very instrument it uses to measure what it seeks, up and dies on it. Oh boohoo!
Let it ALL go my friends. It simply does NOT matter. It wasn’t there UNTIL you starting seeking. Your seeking unloads it all. Your seeking merely perpetuates the very duality you continue to seek IN... and find nothing.
When you finally see clearly, you learn that not only is the world not there, but “you” are not there, nor are any of the thoughts you covet as meaningful, that fuels your seeking, is “there.”
But the cognitive abstraction you call your "self" will never let "you" go.
Nevertheless, a good way to accelerate clarity of this is to simply deny reality to the thoughts in your head. Your thoughts are as meaningless as the world you “think” you “see” (Yes, even the drivel you’re reading on this page…completely and utterly meaningless).
But woe to those who deny the reality of their own MINDS. You will, no doubt, have a rough time of things. That is, until the breakthrough occurs and you finally see the WHOLE shebang.
However, ego-self will mightily resist your being utterly meaningless. It cannot possibly see “you” as ONLY a dreamed up abstraction, because its very existence is contingent on the dream being “real.” The eyes of the body cannot help the “self” that demands the body define what IT is. Your goal has always been to see beyond what the body’s eyes show you, because what the eyes see is not “there,” although in your dream it sure seems as if you’re “looking” at something. That must no longer matter, because the body is as much a dream as the eyes and ears that seem to measure the “world” as REAL.
Some bright mind I read along time ago explained that, the moment you "forgot to laugh" the whole damn delusion took over and stupid things became meaningful.
IF everything that you are aware of is ONLY a dream, ALL must be included and nothing excluded. IF the world is ONLY a dream, your body is also a part of that and, hence, the self that believes it is a body is itself ONLY a dream. Your freedom depends on your seeing it as it really is and it really is…not “there.” (contemplate on the concepts "here" and "there" for awhile and see what comes up for you).
Sorry, but to accelerate clarity, you can no longer pick and choose what you want. And please, dump that fooking “spiritual” bullsheit. For chrisakes, all it ever did was perpetuate the need for the body to continue measuring duality and, thereby, make the whole delusion "real."
Thoughts that seek to represent and describe a dream world are as much a part of that dream as the images that seem to move around IN it. The dream is no less whole than the truth that you will awake to. Only difference is, the dream is NOT true, but ONLY a dream. Hahaa!
See ALL your dream in its expansive wholeness, so you are no longer victimized by the disparate and disconnected parts. Your thoughts about others are no more real than the images you see and claim as representing other minds. You are not “here,” nor are your thoughts, images, beliefs; nothing is “here,” because it is ONLY a dream.
The belief in “your” mind, as separate from the wholeness of the delusion, is as delusional as the belief in “other” separate minds. Believing that your mind is “the only mind” is no less delusional than believing in "other" minds and that all minds, including yours, are owned by the heads that seem to house them.
It's just not "there," dude.
Hence, your finite “spiritual” thoughts cannot save you. Go ahead and dump all that too.
Now you can be free to play infinitely in your world. Now you can remember to laugh.
What have you got to lose?
It’s only a fooking dream….
Artwork by MARS-1 - "Ultraviolet Dreams"