Ironically, the sole reason for the ego-self 's existence is to continually maximize itself to prove it ‘exists’ and is as ‘real’ as everything else it senses and judges as existing.
The more self-actualized, the more certain is existence to an ego-self. This is because without continued self-actualization the ego must doubt its existence, since an ego-self cannot conform to the same empirical standards it uses to prove (science) the existence of the world it experiences.
The world is physically measurable through sense impression, but an ego meets no such standards, since it takes up no space and it is the very mechanism that judges the existence of empirical reality through sensation. The ego cannot sense itself as existing without the physical body that seems to contain and limit it (and which it suffers from). Except for continued conceptual self-actualization, the ego has no means of proving it is real in the same way it has come to believe in the reality of its ‘world.’
Therefore, the ego must continually self-actualize (compete) by pressing itself into, and against, what it experiences, and then defines, as empirical or physical reality. As an embodied 'self' it must contrast against other bodies in order to know that it, the ego, is as real as what it experiences through sensation. This makes the body paramount to ego existence and, if the body were to disappear, the ego would then automatically judge itself as non-existent, since it would have nothing for which to measure self-actualization in an empirical world (and this tends to define 'death' for the ego-self).
To an ego-self there must always be conflict between bodies. This is the only way an ego can actualize and believe in itself as 'real.' This is because an ego-self is conceptual (based on nothing more than identifying with ‘ideas’ of what it is and is not). It has no physical properties other than the body it believes contains it. Yet, it does realize that the body is NOT IT, simply because a body can still exist without an ego, but an ego cannot exist without a body (in relation to conditions of comatose or unconsciousness). Therefore, the ego must always include the body as part of itself, because without a body it could not actualize and hence exist.
An ego is impervious to peace (absence of conflict) simply because peace is an absence of conflict between bodies and such an absence would negate the egos ability to continually actualize proof of its existence. As long as the ego-self (“you”) defines itself as an individual IT MUST experience conflict, because individuals must be defined by limits and boundaries in order to contrast and conflict with other individual bodies.
If you stub your toe, a bodily limit has been breached. However, have your toes stepped on by another and, although the pain (reminder of a breached bodily limit) may dissipate and dissolve, the breach to self may linger on. Thus, you must always be vigilant against breach of bodily limits but, more importantly, breaching the conditions and limits of the self is often more threatening, since it impairs self-actualization which negates existence. This is why the ego may seek out bodily risks as pleasurable (dangerous sports, auto-racing, sky-diving, etc) but will avoid psychological/emotional pain as holding a much greater risk to 'self.'
As long as you are aware of yourself as limited by (and to) a body, you must experience conflict between bodies. However, if a body breaches your limits, it is always the self of that body that is condemned and attacked, because without a 'self,' the body can do nothing at all.
If you stub your toe, a bodily limit has been breached. However, have your toes stepped on by another and, although the pain (reminder of a breached bodily limit) may dissipate and dissolve, the breach to self may linger on. Thus, you must always be vigilant against breach of bodily limits but, more importantly, breaching the conditions and limits of the self is often more threatening, since it impairs self-actualization which negates existence. This is why the ego may seek out bodily risks as pleasurable (dangerous sports, auto-racing, sky-diving, etc) but will avoid psychological/emotional pain as holding a much greater risk to 'self.'
As long as you are aware of yourself as limited by (and to) a body, you must experience conflict between bodies. However, if a body breaches your limits, it is always the self of that body that is condemned and attacked, because without a 'self,' the body can do nothing at all.
There is no escape from this need for contrast and conflict and it is endemic to an embodied ego-self.
The world teaches self-actualizing values that reinforce egocentric existence, setting the limits and boundaries to that existence. The ego looks to the world for instruction on self-actualizing and all you need do is decide to ignore those means of egoic self-actualization simply because they promote limits and conditions (which, of course, will be significantly uncomfortable to the ego-self conditioned by the world's values of self-actualization).
The chief method of overcoming egocentric actualization is to actualize with another. But an ego-self must be convinced that mutual actualization enhances itself and not just another.
When boundaries lose relevance and become unnecessary, egoic need for conflict between embodied selves becomes less antagonistic and threatening. Mutually engaged actualization dissolves conflicting interests and opens up communication channels, previously seen as too threatening. This promotes depth of understanding and a psychological intimacy that increasingly builds upon itself by further discarding limits and conditions.
Very simply, bodies no longer take priority when minds join in discovering truth.
When two or more share a common interest in recognizing and discarding limits and boundaries, egocentric individuality can become unlimited, because increased trust and safety naturally overrides fear. As fear recedes, limits dissolve (since ALL limits are fear-based) and individuals engage in a mutual exploration of each other, through each other, thereby, increasing self-actualization of both, equally.
You will know and understand your ‘self’ through knowing and understanding another. There is NO other way to fully understand your ‘self’ than to fully understand another and be understood by another. This is what we long for and the ego recognizes that longing, but can only be confused by, since it clashes with all egocentric goals. Therefore, it interprets this longing for itself only.
This is why love is a victim of relativity in the ego's world and fails to sustain or even remain.
Nevertheless, such mutual actualization of truth has always been your deepest goal. This is the path to awakening together and discovering a truth available to all minds, but never to individual minds seeking alone. This is how it was supposed to be, until the ego collapsed love into fear and 'individuality' became the means of communicating with nothing, creating a world where nothing is communicated of any substance and, although everything seems to change, repetition rules the world.
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