We tend to shut off awareness of other avenues of approach by predicting how awakening must occur and preparing for only that. This is no different from the suffering inherent in our preparing for predictions on how our lives should be lived. Obviously, it is your own expectations you seek to awaken from and not much else than that.
When I quickly jotted down the post AWAKENING: A Billion Dollar Business I had two chief concepts in mind. The first was to address the absurdity of the awakening industry and the second was to address who the real master teachers or gurus might be. The first issue seemed easy to address since all you need do is look around at the numerous enlightenment programs ($$$) to understand how ridiculous it can get. Of course, there are probably some very honest and sincere teachers out there, although I have yet to meet one.
The problem with “guru-master-teacher” involves two concepts: prediction and preparation.
Prediction has to do with the ego’s need to conceptualize a future that alleviates present fears. The guru-ego gives the student-ego a future prediction that obviously includes “awakening” as egoless.
The student then goes about preparing for that prediction. By adopting an ideology, and engaging in related “practices,” the student sculpts his ego entirely on the gurus prediction. Thus, the student seeks to fulfill the prediction through correct preparation. These are the rules of the game, when the object of the game is ego transcendence.
Note that, although the ego is actively preparing for the predicted outcome of “awakening,” there is another dynamic occurring under the radar. This is because the "awakening" that the student prepares for actually involves the death of the ego (the student) or that very part of mind seeking to prepare for "awakening."
Now what kinda dingbat would prepare for his own death while still fully engaged in living? Nobody I know! Problem is, the student fails to realize this underlying dynamic and does just that.
Obviously, an ego joyfully engaged in preparing for "awakening" has no intention of checking out of that process. Why should it? After all these years ego has finally found a genuine and authentic way of life that fully accentuates itself in preparing for awakening!
Fortunately, the ego may “awaken,” but it will never be as predicted and underneath all that preparation for awakening, unbeknown to the student, the real preparation has been occurring all along.
But the ego has no idea of this other preparation whatsoever, even though it’s been occurring right under its nose. In fact, it can’t be called preparation at all because there has been no prediction made for which to prepare for and therefore, the ego will be awakened by complete SURPRISE. And that awakening will have no resemblance to anything the ego could have ever comprehended, let alone understood, before it is taken by complete surprise. In fact, I suspect the surprise will fully disclose that no preparation was ever needed, since there was nothing to awaken from in the first place (but I can only speculate on that).
You can’t prepare for the unknown by predicting what it might be. This only prepares you for what you know. Prepare for SURPRISE by recognizing that it can’t be predicted, but it is certain you will be surprised if you're always prepared for only that and nothing else.
This means that any teacher you seek is NOT the teacher, although you have had thousands before this very moment and you will have many more. Just don’t expect it! The only expectation you need have is that from this moment on, nothing need be as expected, since it's only your expectations that you fear and desire to "awaken" from.
"Mindfulness is a mental state, characterized by concentrated awareness of one's thoughts, actions or motivations." (Wiki)
This concept of "mindfulness" is very precarious for me. I understand the use of the concept. But I think it points to the dualism that we are fixated on, or the mind/body dilemma. In that respect, attaching the concept of 'mind' to that which is exclusively a bodily function seems to be a conventional idea that we all are comfortable with, since it reduces our guilt and limits responsibility. This egoic comfort merely reduces 'mind' to a platitude.
The function/act of sexual bodily liaisons has existed from the 'beginning' and it does NOT seem to have attained the capacity to enhance world peace, or domestic tranquility.
It seems the ego desires that certain aspects of reality be negated, while other aspects are glorified and made sacred. Thus, we make a distinction between 'sins' of the body and of the mind, whereas, the mind is incapable of perpetuating sinful acts without the use of the body. We then compromise with illusional reality by investing physical acts of the body with 'mind.'
In fact, I wonder, could we go to war "mindfully"? Or how 'bout my favorite - "mindful capitalism" (could use a little of that now, eh?) Not doubt we will soon seek to engage in "mindful wars" (and I wonder can one have a bowel movement mindfully or can I mindfully rob a bank?).
MINDFUL SEXUALITY
My point is not that we should assume some ascetic spiritual celibacy, but that our socially conditioned requirement of bodily enclaves of exclusive partnerships based on sexual compatibility (or any other kind) does not seem amenable to the Oneness we all seem to speak volumes on. However, I too am committed to one such enclave and have engaged in sex (still do, in fact, Shhhhhhh...)
However, I do not seek for a greater unifying bond with my wife through infusing our sexual activity with some mindful, sacred-tantric, specialness. Nevertheless, I do seek deeper union through intimate mind-to-mind relating (sex or no sex) in the recognition that ONLY MINDS CAN JOIN and through that distinction, sexuality JUST IS and recedes to the background with its sacredness whittled away (as such, you can enjoy the sex game without guilt).
Ego loves the 'sacred' and so it seeks to sacralize as much of the "illusion" as possible in order to better aggrandize itself through its actions and behaviors. To sacralize a function is to make it very special and therefore, not subject to conventional fears. Now we act with impunity, yet the mind sooner or later must realize it's all a charade.
Our glorification of sex requires we seek out and pair up with other agreeable bodies for which to maintain our fixation on the function of sex as an instinctual need based on primordial impulses. This required religious sanction making these enclaves separate little sovereign-unions under God and thus we have become obsessed with the socially manufactured need to become little exclusive islands of sexual activity... blessed by God.
Seems to me this results in more suffering then any other institution and can be just as violent as all out war. Alas, it seems institutionalized love and war, in ever corner of reality, must be our fate.
Note we team up with other bodies in the declaration of war as well and that game is as sacred as sex. It requires two or more bodies engaged in sacred destruction (are not all wars initiated under sacred principles declared from the start?). Therefore, destroying bodies is as sacred as creating more (just look at the Gaza).
This merging of body into mind into spirit seems 'integral' yet, although my past sensory learning attests to the truth of such an evolutionary perspective, it is entirely too formulaic for my mind and seems to deny permanent leaps of consciousness (not evolutionary), which may have always been available to us at anytime, if and when we so choose. Right now, in fact!
Look at all that is done in worship of the body and the body's need to teach the mind through sensory impressions. If the body is an object of consciousness and nothing more, look at the 'world' that has emerged in support of that one object. Stunning!
Notice how our existence completely conforms to the dictates of the body and what the body teaches IT demands. Look at how we strive to conform the mind to 'reality,' as opposed to conforming reality to the mind. Actually, it would seem , even though the ego is certainly well known and persistently studied, the mind still has yet to be discovered.
I 'fantasize' that when we finally sink deeply 'within' and plumb the depths of the Deep Spirit of our own separate mind/consciousness we will all meet outside space/time and learn that we have always known each other through ONE Consciousness (theoretically speaking).
But this is certainly not so for the "awakening" crowd. Not only will they reject the body unless it participates in sacred acts, but they demand thought be annihilated and replaced with "No-Mind." Through "mindfulness" one is deeply concentrated and engaged with mind for the distinct purpose of annihilating thought. Maybe we should tap the conceptual genius of the mind first, before we seek to understand the non-conceptuality of mind.
Of course, I have no certainty of anything (thank God, since that would end the game), which demands everything be persistently questioned. I enjoy the seemingly infinite discourse because I believe it can take us very far. Indeed, maybe even all the way...
PS: why is it that every post I write about the concept of sex gets more hits than any other post?
A paradigm is “a set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them, especially in an intellectual discipline” (Am. Heritage).
The ego is sustained through its attachment to paradigms. The ego is a habitual bugger that deeply desires finding consistency in a virtual sea of change. It strives to attach and firmly anchor to thought-systems, or paradigms, that it believes will advance its cause which is nothing more than self-assertion against other egos.
The ego constructed a time/space continuum (called a ‘world’) within consciousness through which to ground itself in the desire for consistent self-assertion or existence. The ego expects the world to consistently maintain its desire to be REAL and thus, the 'world' has no other purpose. Ironically, inherent to the ‘world’ is a persistent inconsistency, since consistency for the ego equates with a sense of perfection. This poses a conflict as the ego seeks to perfect itself in a an ever-changing, imperfect world.
Thus, ego initiates “practices” and habits as well as defining itself through concepts that promise to provide it a sense of perfect consistency through various paradigms or thought-systems. However, as each paradigm fails to provide perfect consistency or ego salvation, this merely provokes the ego’s search for other paradigms to serve its purpose of perfect self-assertion. Because the world has so many different paradigms or thought systems, the search seems endless.
Nevertheless, all paradigms support one goal, reinforcing the existence of the ego. Otherwise, they would not have been constructed by the ego in the first place. Yet, ego cannot take ownership of the world's paradigms, as this would be tantamount to nullifying ego's existence and ego MUST exist.
THE MONETARY VALUE SYSTEM
Ego creates belief systems, within the changing reality, that serve to accentuate itself. The monetary value paradigm is no different from the “enlightenment” or “awakening” paradigm in that it promises a sense of consistency as long as the paradigm or thought-system is idolized as salvation (or the road to an ideal of perfection).
The monetary value paradigm tends to nest itself within the ego self-development paradigm or, what we colloquially refer to as, the “pursuit of happiness." These are beliefs or thought-systems that provide the ego a reason to assert itself and act against the world (essentially a purpose or reason for living). Although the monetary value paradigm is housed within the self-development paradigm, a well-developed self is defined as a self that has taken full advantage of monetary values thereby reinforcing its existence within consciousness.
Here is a disturbing story regarding the dissolution of the monetary-value paradigm as an ego purpose or anchor for existence (read the full article for a larger sense of what is beginning to occur globally):
“In December, coroner's investigators in Kern County, California, revealed that they were "seeing a wave of people committing suicide because of financial stress," a 5-10% increase over 2007.” (Financial Armageddon)
What is occurring around the world is symbolic of the impending (distinctly in the past few months) dissolution of the monetary paradigm. An egoic consciousness that has based its entire existence on the monetary-value system must suffer acutely when that value system becomes unstable. Yet, when it becomes clear that the system is no longer relevant or consciously sustainable, the ego will experience existential desperation (as the full article linked above illustrates).
If the ego has relied on one primary thought-system as superior to all others (as most egos do), then intense suffering based on its loss may drive an ego to consider physical death as the only alternative for relief from that suffering. This is gradually becoming apparent, as many developed nations have relied exclusively on the monetary-value paradigm for which to anchor the collective ego in a sense of consistency.
Now that this consistency is threatened, many egos will experience a period of insanity (since suicide is indicative of ego-disorganization or insanity), when really it is nothing more than an extremely heightened sense of fear based on an interpretation of “no where to turn.” The ego fails to recognize that it was actually the paradigm itself that was INSANE TO BEGIN WITH.
The world is experiencing a paradigm shift as the collective begins to recognize it has no choice but to seek sustenance and sustainability elsewhere. But where to look? Within any shift of consciousness there is often great resistance to such a massive change and this is referred to as “paradigm paralysis.”
“Perhaps the greatest barrier to a paradigm shift, in some cases, is the reality of paradigm paralysis, the inability or refusal to see beyond the current models of thinking.” (Wikipedia)
This resistance is readily evident in the individual ego’s consideration of self-destruction as more advantageous to the suffering involved in radical changes to any value system that the ego has thrived on for so very long (in denial that it created the system).
THE STOCK MARKET
We can see this ego paralysis in the stock market, which is up some days but mostly, since October 08, has been down or in “negative territory” (as of today, 1/29/09 the market closed down 226 pts, while yesterday, 1/28/09, it closed up 200 pts). These swings in market valuation signify paradigm paralysis as individual ego’s that have made millions (if not billions) through this tool, developed exclusively for the monetary-value paradigm, now refuse to discard the paradigm and demand the tool remain consistent. In fact, they demand that the tool continue to provide the same consistency, even though economic indicators and a majority of academic economists have essentially concluded that the market is dead and can no longer sustain the riches that it previously provided.
Yet, they simply refuse to let it die!
Of course, the stock market is only one tool among many. Nevertheless, it is a heavily utilized tool within the monetary-value paradigm, which seeks to consistently amass personal wealth to serve as thechief measure of ego value in the ego’s need to assert itself against a world of other egos. It clearly exposes the nature of the monetary-value paradigm and what happens to the ego in realizing that the paradigm is shifting and is no longer sustainable.
When it comes to major paradigm shifts, resistance is futile. Unfortunately, many will not realize this until everything is lost and the ego has entered a state of paralytic fear.
Many would contend that we are more than any conceptual paradigm or value system could define. Unfortunately, this is simply not true. We are only what our value systems determine us to be and nothing more. The 'self' and 'world' are nothing more than conceptual constructions in a sea of consciousness. Therefore, feel free to make of it what you will.
The ego demands purpose and value systems are constructed (essentially out of thin air) in order to establish and assert ego purpose. Many advocate seeking sustenance from a religious value system or even a spiritual value system as anchor, since egos require anchor or reference points. However, there are many who do attach to religious or spiritual paradigms. Unfortunately, this attachment occurs primarily on the surface and this means there is a paradigmatic hierarchy in which the ego has attached to some other paradigm above all others. Look around you and it is clear to see that for most it is the monetary-value system which predominates and fills consciousness.
Because of this hierarchy, the ego is stabilized as long as the primary value system is stable and sustained. Thus, “you” are free to engage with other paradigms, including spiritual/religious value systems. Yet, clearly, this is a recipe for disaster, because if and when the primary monetary-value system erodes, other subordinate value systems may suffer or be ignored entirely.
Most likely, as in the article referenced above, many of these individual egos believed themselves to be deeply religious or spiritual. Sadly, for many this turned out not to be the case, resulting in acute suffering so intense that the ego chose annihilation as opposed to as sense of endurance or survival through other value systems.
Know what concepts you idolize, and essentially worship, in your own consciousness and don't deny the real purpose you follow.
A DEEP SPIRIT PARADIGM
This is why I, and many others, have frequently referred to an alternate primary paradigm as Deep Spirit. Deep Spirit does not reject other paradigms or though-systems and can confidently play any games within the consciousness of a 'world.' Yet, it does subordinate all other paradigms as below itself, in terms of controlling interests. Deep Spirit becomes the foundation for all other paradigms thereby reducing the degree of ego suffering, as other paradigms eventually become displaced, diminished or completely annihilated.
I suppose we could say that Deep Spirit is a form of Higher Thinking because it tends to raise the ego, rather than attempt to transcend it, as many "awakening" paradigms advocate. It is impossible for an ego to transcend itself. The transformative ascension of Deep Spirit is based on deeper values that have long lain dormant to become subordinate to the modern monetary-value system distraction. Deep Spirit ascends simply because it has been repressed into the recesses of consciousness.
Deep Spirit is not necessarily ideological as it can include all religious/spiritual paradigms, but it tends to demand depth and rejects surface ideologies. Seeking depth from religious and spiritual ideologies demands a unending persistent questioning that may eventually reduce the attraction of other religions and spiritual paths requiring that you actually CREATE YOUR OWN (fancy that!). This can have similarities to other paths, but is essentially developed within your consciousness, requiring that YOU take responsibility for the world you have constructed.
From Deep Spirit the ego accepts no finite paradigm or value system in the understanding that ego is ineffective in determining value and must sift through all value systems in a never-ending attempt to define itself. This is the infinite game that has only one rule; that you keep the game in play. If there appears an outcome signifying end of play, then the rules must change. This can be difficult for the ego demanding greater assertion against the world by the rules the world has established as "true."
Yet, there is an inherent, intrinsic joy in playing a game in which the rules must change so as to avoid winning. In fact, when the rules are guaranteed to change (the only rule) then even suffering must be redefined because the game of suffering has very specific rules (as illustrated above).
When you are free to change the rules, and need not be confined to limitations established by the world's "conventional wisdom," very interesting things begin to happen to your individual ego as well as the collective. I believe this is the actual origin of the “awakening” paradigm.
Rules tend to channel thought and behavior down predetermined pathways. Unfortunately, over the past few centuries, spiritual games accumulated too many rules and guidelines signifying that an outcome was sought. Therefore, winners were identified as those who attained the agreed upon outcome based on the rules. It is very important to note that once we identify winners, losers must materialize as well and this can only perpetuate suffering.
Games based on A Deep Spirit paradigm have no losers because there is no agreed on outcome for which winners can be identified. Once we anticipate a winner, the rules change to reflect a different outcome. This can be exhilarating or extremely frightening depending on ego-self attachments. In seeking to experience the world from a Deep Spirit paradigm, the ego remains engaged only with an ever deepening correspondence with Deep Spirit at all times, in the recognition that this paradigm is infinite and does not reduce itself to one perspective or one set of rules. This is the difference between playing a finite or an infinite game.
Obviously, all finite games end with death. But the infinite game is not defined through those parameters and has no such ending (saving this for another post). Therefore, the only question is, which game will you choose to play, since the end of all egoic suffering is contingent on that choice.
"Mr Ryder issued a blunt assessment of this year’s World Economic Forum. “The certainties that have defined Davos for the past ten years have collapsed,” he said. “We are witnessing the collapse of an entire system of ideas.”
Obviously, there are numerous problems with my post (or words) and that is inherent to my ego, but also inherent to your ego is seeing “problems.” Both perspectives certainly advance the ego’s cause, but then that's part of the game and endemic to all egos.
"1. You're dismissing all spiritual masters as false, just because egos can relate to them egoically. That is just what egos do, and doesn't necessarily say anything one way or the other about the spiritual masters and the genuineness of their offering."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but is not the spiritual master considered as such for his mastery of ego, hence, 'egoless'? Nevertheless, I imagine any relating to spiritual masters is egoic, since it is the ego that relates to the world as constructed by the ego. Actually, I’m not necessarily dismissing all spiritual masters as “false” just unnecessary. I suppose one ego could provide self-development strategies to another ego. But what does that serve? Certainly not egolessness and most eastern traditions depend on that one element in the identifying of the master by the students. If the master did not convey an absence of ego, they would not be identified as master. Which is why I could never be a "master" since I don't play the game by those rules.
Nevertheless, how else are you to relate to your “master” if not egoically? What thinking brought you to the master? Is there a time, since arriving at the master, that the ego was switched off and you related in some other way? Did the master initiate this switch or did you or both? If, in fact, there was a switch in perspective, what happened to the previous egoic perspective? Was it transcended, transformed or did it simply become non-existent? (or as Ken Wilber would assert, was it “integrated”?).
"2. You're shooting down all "awakening" processes, without offering any constructive alternative for realizing egolessness."
Actually, I am offering an alternative. There is no “awakening” and there is no “egolessness.” There is a process (which I often refer to as a 'game') but it is infinite and has no destination such as egolessness or awakening or enlightenment. Of course, that is anathema to an ego invested in the “process” of annihilating itself (transcending), which ironically, serves merely as a means to further self-assertion. Assert a purpose and you are essentially imprisoned within that conceptual ideal, until you attach to another. Notice, I state this as “ideal” and not idea since the conceptualization of “awakening” is that of an ideal perfect state. Let's not deny that the ego is seeking an egoic perfect state (referred to as “awakened”) since egoic is all it knows.
Therefore, it constructs from what it knows some ideation of perfection (in fact, in many eastern philosophies there are actually levels of experiencing this perfection, as if perfection comes in levels and degrees).
Therefore, we have two concepts in one, “awakening,” and behind or within that is “perfection” as that which we seek. Every step (hypothetical) you take in asserting an ideal of perfection posits imperfection, which would be like one step forward two steps back, simply because imperfect is how the ego knows itself. In this way all spiritual paths seem to thrive by advocating an evolution to "truth," but merely continues to ask that we repeat the past.
The ego constructs all manner of concepts, which it then asserts as necessary to achieve “egolessness.’ However, what is it that seeks to be egoless? But, that’s how the game is played. Yet, the ego is brilliant by design and constructs all manner of abstractions to further itself, like awakening, enlightenment, satori, samdhi, nirvana, yada, yada, yada. But then everything's a conceptual abstraction including body, mind, consciousness, etc.
"3. You're falling into typical trap a lot of people who READ a lot about "nonduality" fall into: the notion that words, ideas, or conceptualization alone is the problem, and therefore a different conceptualization should be the solution."
I agree I have read various theories on the concept of non-duality, however, I have been introduced to the concept in other ways as well. Nevertheless, it’s all intellectually scrunched up together in my ego anyway. You seem to imply that my ideas are simply rote renditions of books I have read. Why couldn’t my ego simply make up its own revolutionary theories out of what has been previously read? Some refer to that as “genius” so why couldn’t I be a genius? (HA! Got an ego lurch outa that one). Why couldn't anyone, since it's all conceptual anyway?
But you’re correct in intellectual learning being a trap. I suppose we could conceptualize all spiritual seeking as a trap, because once you think you ‘know,’ you become instantly trapped in the ‘knowing.’ And who does not rely on the egoic intellect in the search?
"Whereas what may be required is not merely a change of mind but a change of action: actively countering the egoic habits of this lifetime (and possibly many before) that otherwise our binding attention and energy and obscuring realization. Maya is not just a conceptual mistake. Ego is not just an idea. It's a pattern of behaviors that keep one identified with the body and mind. No undoing of that false identification is possible through just thinking differently."
What is ‘action” if not within the flow of consciousness. I’m sure you don’t mean empirically observable behaviors? What is the concept of “behavior”? Is it outside consciousness or inside based on ego coordinates of space/time? If all behavior is IN consciousness, then we may need to redefine the concept of “action.” What are you ‘acting’ upon?
You merely reinforce as real what you counter or resist by asserting that it's not real or even simply not desired. Countering “egoic habits of this lifetime” merely creates a void immediately filled with other habits since we define our lives by habits of thought, which is empirically observed as behaviors (or so we believe). Ego will resist a vacuum (even nature “abhors” that) since nothingness would nullify its existence. I understand what “maya” is, however, I avoid Hindu-Buddhist terminology since this tends to sacralize the concepts and we have all sorts of sacred concepts being tossed around that just perpetuate suffering and sacrifice. As opposed to “illusion,” I tend to employ the term delusion, which gives it a personal flavor (and more responsibility).
However, even in the 'real world', psychology has rather accurately identified thought as the origin of behavior. I merely agree with psychology but extend that to identifying thought as origin of 'self' and ‘world’ or universe (which are just more concepts). Therefore, I would agree that ego is a pattern of habitualized thought that keeps one identified with ego. Yet, I am hesitant to indict “mind” or consciousness/awareness. We may simply disagree on the defining properties or rules applied to our concepts. I suppose that cannot be remedied.
Seeking to change extrinsic behavior merely denies origin and asserts space/time coordinates. However, you have not defined what, in your opinion, a “false identification” is, so maybe you could leave me another comment on that one. In fact, what does “false” mean? Is their a value-scale? But then that would be egoic, right?
Thanks for the comments!
(Let this be a lesson to all you hate-mailers. If your comment is free of nasty expletives and seeks to further the game, then I will happily post your comments, no matter how much I might disagree)
Mike: That’s it! I’ve had it with you! I want nothing more to do with your sheit!
ego: Gosh, Mike, what could be the problem?
Mike: You know darn well what the problem is! Every time I write a post, you tell me “this is it! this is the one that’s gonna trip out the entire world and everybody will think you’re a genius.” You get me all friggin’ hyped up, only to realize that nobody reads it. Nobody’s interested. It’s a flop!
I’m sick and tired of this roller coaster ride you’ve been takin’ me on my whole damn life. My whole life you have consistently jacked me up, only to crash every time. I can't be happy listenin' to you and doing what you say.
So, from now on, we’re through. I’m done with you! From now on you need to stay out of my life!
ego: But, Mike, I can’t stay out of your life….I’m you.
Mike: Whaaa!?…..well…I guess that’s true. But it doesn’t matter… because I’m on a spiritual pathto enlightenment. Ya know what that means, don’t ya? It means your done. Finished! Because once I awaken to enlightenment your gone, dude. Your days are numbered. That’s what “enlightenment” means… NO MORE EGO! No more you.
ego: That’s fine, but if your going on a spiritual path to enlightenment, then, unfortunately, I’m gonna have to come with you. At least until you get where you’re going. You do understand that, right?
Mike: Well…fine! I suppose you do have to tag along, at least until I get my enlightenment. But just stay outa my way, do you hear! I can’t have you buttin’ in while I’m trying to become an enlightened master. This is a spiritual path I’m on, not an ego trip.
ego: OK. But since I have to be here... maybe I can help?
Mike: Help? You’ve been no help so far, so I can’t see what you could do to help me get enlightened. How could you possibly help?
ego: Well, I could help you find the right books to read, the right groups to join and I could even assist in finding the best guru. I could even help you schedule your spiritual practices around the rest of your life and remind you when you’re thinking too much and not meditating correctly.
You got to admit, we have learned a lot along the way and it seems a shame to trash it all now. Besides, you still need me to do other things like make money, enjoy sex, justify your anger when others piss you off, make it seem like your intelligent when you’re not, show you what to get serious about and what to ignore…
You’ve got to admit that I have helped you many times in negotiating that cold, cruel world out there. In fact, what would you be without ME to protect YOU?
Admit it…you know you love me.
Mike: Well…ok… I guess you can help sometimes. But I’ll let you know when I need your help so don’t be buttin’ in when I don’t need you.
ego: Ok, you got it, buddy! I’ll only take direction from you. Otherwise, I’ll be as quiet as a mouse. Oh, this spiritual enlightenment will be such fun!
So if reality is nothing more than a conceptual fantasy conjured up in the individual and collective mind, why does it really suck at times? I mean, why can’t you simply conceptualize into consciousness pure unadulterated bliss? Why shouldn’t you be able to conceptualize eternal fame and fortune?
Well, the problem begins with the concept we refer to, and idolize, as “ego.” The ego was manufactured mentally to give you a sense of “sefldom” or a ‘sovereignty’ over all you survey. Actually, that’s not really a problem. The real problem is that to be an ego requires that there be other egos all living in your sovereign ‘world.” Because, let’s face it, if there were no other egos living in the world, who and what would you assert your ego against in order to confirm your ego even exists and, make no mistake, egos NEED to exist (as opposed to the BEING of mind).
This tends to diminish your sovereignty, since there must be other egos for which to accentuate and assert your ego (attain recognition) and those egos are doing the same asserting and that sucks for “you.” This results in all manner of competitive ego games. The most absurd being the "awakening game" in which those who proclaim winning an ego game assert that they have, in fact, overcome their ego. They are blissfully egoless and thus, they are winners. But, note that they cannot claim themselves as winning and require others to make such a proclamation. Thus, I could easily assert that I am an 'Enlightened Egoless Master' but unless I get a few thousand (or million) to agree with me, my assertion would be as credible as proclaiming Donald Duck an "enlightened master."
Even though all games are all simply conceptualized in consciousness, nonetheless, ego has informed the mind that this all is so very real and the mind then conceptualizes some serious stuff, like death, war, disease, religion, government, spiritual practices, etc, etc. You see, the mind is innocent and always has been since it does retain a timeless quality. Yet, in its manufacture of an ego, the mind then sentenced itself to a life of guilt by oonceptualizing space/time. This negated perfect equality thereby arranging 'levels and 'degrees' in space/time. levels and degress denote dualism and now we have all kinds of inequality.
So why did the mind make the ego in the first place?
Well, here we’re entering into the game of non-conceptuality and that’s an infinite game. I suppose the best way to put it, is that the timeless mind NEVER made the ego in time because for it, time doesn't even exist and, thus, the ego doesn’t exist either. Now this is some pretty enlightening sheit… for someone who is not ruled by an ego. For an ego, it is simply hilarious! (do you hear your ego laughing).
You see the ego doesn’t know why the mind made it (in it’s dream of complete sovereignty, it believes it made itself!) and really doesn’t care for that matter. What it does care about is that the mind never find out why the ego exists, because if it did learn why the ego exists, then the mind may not want it anymore. That’s a frightening concept for the ego to consider and, therefore, it strives to insure that you do NOT consider it. Thus, we have so many finite games to play for distraction.
'Why' is an infinite game that has no outcome and egos would rather not play games they cannot win. They prefer more worldly finite games in which they can win prizes and stuff. Just look around you at your world and you will clearly see egos asserting themselves in winning finite games. Not to win would indicate a diminished ego and a diminished ego is tantamount to a dead one. Since the ego demands existence, any sense of diminishing return is evaluated as a threat to survival. This is why we have so many depressed people in the world, who have eventually come to evaluate their egos as losing in the finite games the world plays.
Ego finite games are very serious biz! Obviously, if the games were not taken seriously, then the ego would not play because the ego's only reason for existing is simply to assert itself against other egos. It has absolutely no other purpose than to magnify itself and it requires that everyone participate in its magnification. Because if everyone did not participate, who would declare it a winner?
In fact, some egos are very cunning and actually assert themselves in a game called spiritualhumility. The object of this game is for the ego to present itself as making great sacrifices for others, while reaping subtle rewards for itself, as in "gee, you're so 'selfless'!" You will find this rule in many religious and spiritual games.
Of course, for the ego to play these sorts of games requires other egos to play as well and to play by the rules as agreed on. Not all egos can win in all games, but there are so many finite games to be played, the ego almost always finds some game to win at.
However, as I stated above, the mind manufactures an ego and the ego requires the mind never understand why. It seems that before time (or the concept of “time”) the mind was completely centered and focused on what I like to call Deep Spirit (others call it that too). Its called Deep Spirit because the mind has become almost completely distracted by the ego, thus, leaving Spirit to recede deep into the background, whereas before, the mind’s attention was blissfully consumed by this Spirit and nothing else.
This is why all “awakening” games tend to be co-opted by ego, because the very idea of retrieving or renewing correspondence with Deep Spirit is frightening to the ego. So the ego takes control of that game and we wind up with all kinds of crazy gurus and hip modern masters like Osho, and Adi Da, Andrew Cohen, Ken Wilber, etc, etc.
The objective of the ego’s spiritual game for many is to pretend that Deep Spirit has replaced the ego's blathering. When this happens, other ego’s immediately go “woooo, did you hear what he said, that couldn’t be ego talking, so it must be the Truth of Deep Spirit.” (of course, spiritual ego games are played by both men and women. However, men are much more adept at egoic magnification and, so, most of our most prolific gurus tend to be male).
This is a winning strategy for ego, which has then asserted itself as “guru” or “master teacher” and in finite games there is only room for so many gurus or masters. Not everybody can be a guru or master. Therefore, the rules state that those who sound and act like gurus (requiring incredible marketing programs) MUST be gurus. What the game then requires is that all who wish to play must conform to the rules if they, too, want to be “awakened gurus.”
Here’s a few examples:
"I Cannot Leave, For My Transcendentally Spiritually "Bright" Divine Spherical Self-Domain Is Not Some "Where" To "Go To". My Divine Self-Domain Is Eternal. I Am Eternal, and I Am Always Already Merely Present-here, and every "where" In The Cosmic Domain.” By Means Of My Divine Avataric Incarnation here, I Have Given you My Divine Secret. My Divine Secret Is This: I Am Eternally Present, and I Am Omni-Present.” (Adi Da, Adidam.org)
"The life-embracing capacity of the highly developed soul comes directly from the transformative spiritual experience of oneness, wholeness, and completeness. When the self has directly seen that its own deepest depths are absolutely full to overflowing, all existential doubt is extinguished and we are freed to embrace the life process without reservation. But even then, our conviction and our surrender will be tested, again and again and again." (Andrew Cohen, Soul Development)
"Yes, maybe they are crazy, these divine fools. Maybe they are mumbling idiots in the face of the Abyss. Maybe they need a nice, understanding therapist. Yes, I'm sure that would help. But then, I wonder. Maybe the evolutionary sequence really is from matter to body to mind to soul to spirit, each transcending and including, each with a greater depth and greater consciousness and wider embrace. And in the highest reaches of evolution, maybe, just maybe, an individual's consciousness does indeed touch infinity—a total embrace of the entire Kosmos—a Kosmic consciousness that is Spirit awakened to its own true nature." (Ken Wilber, WIKI)
"I am not much of a religious person, I am not a saint, I have nothing to do with spirituality. All those categories are irrelevant about me. You cannot categorize me, you cannot pigeonhole me. But one thing can be said, that my whole effort is to help you release the energy called love-intelligence. If love-intelligence is released, you are healed." (Osho Quotes)
As you can see, these are some crazy-serious dudes!
Obviously, my ego is rapturously enjoying the exposing of other egos and expects you will applaud my efforts by sending more adoring emails, as opposed to the hate mail I seem to be currently receiving. Otherwise, how else will I win in comparison to others losing. Unless, of course, I actually have no intention of winning but simply wish to keep the game in play (unfortunately, my ego will have none of that! HA!)
I frequently like to play metaphysical mind games (as evident in many of these posts) and I thought I'd start one and see if anyone wants to play along. Notice, it's just a game and the only rules are that we keep the game going. However, once we detect a winner might suddenly appear (like in, "hey, this guy really knows what he's talkin' about") we must then immediately change the rules to keep the game going. (because, when you really get down to it, who really ever "wins" the game of life, anyway?)
Okay, so we live out our day to day existence with barely a thought regarding origin (other than momma’s womb). We either consider it not worthy of thought or we simply accept what we have been taught by the 'masters' of science and religion. “What am I” has always been “the unanswered question.” So let’s see if we can move closer to an answer, while at the same time never giving an answer (which would be against the rules of the game).
CONCEPTUALITY
You experience your ‘self’ in your mind as a bundle of mentalconcepts or ideals (even “experience” is a concept). Your experience of reality is actually concept upon concept upon concept, seemingly on ad infinitum, layers upon layers of seemingly infinite concepts, some connected, some not (consider the process of 'thinking.' sometimes you string thoughts together, sometimes they just appear outa nowhere).
Thoughts are concepts, as is the “process” of “thinking” merely conceptual, and even your conceiving of a “concept” is itself a concept. Everything you believe true is conceptual and has no other substance but that (and who knows what the frig that's made of). This includes the "physical" world, which might be physical, yet we don't really know that. We just know our experience of the world, conceptualized as "physical' in our mind.
But concepts are NOT Truth (that would end our game) since absolute Truth (cap 'T' for absolute as opposed to relative) cannot be conceptual (that's a different game). To conjure up a concept, whether you believe it’s real or not, would be to lock it into your mind, based on how you have defined it. Therefore, truth is relative to the mind that conceptualizes it as true. This game plays specifically with relative truths as a process of moving closer to absolute Truth (in which there is only ONE game).
Your non-conceptual Truth is, has been, and always will be, that you are God and God created you that way (But, like I said, non-conceptuality is a different game).
God (or your origin) did not conceive a "you" (as in, conceptually think you into existence). However, you do conceive your ‘self’ into existence, everyday in fact. So it’s a good thing you can remember the concepts that made up who and what you were yesterday. Just think what would happen if you woke up with no idea of how you conceived of your 'self' the day before. HA! Actually, "you" remember and recognize your ‘self’ as a bunch of mental concepts which often change for a variety of reasons, but the core concepts MUST NEVER change. That's a rule you set, which is certainly available for revision in an infinite game.
However, concepts have limitations based solely on what you decide they should be. Obviously, God is not limited in any way and could only create without limitation or, non-conceptually. Note that God is defined however you choose to relatively conceive of God. The only additional rule I'm adding is that God is beyond all concepts and therefore, does not in anyway conceptualize anything, whatsoever (feel free to break this rule at any time!).
As God is, God creates, and therefore, you were created as unlimited (not limited by concepts) or as God. Problem is, that’s not how you conceive (conceptualize) of your ‘self.’ In your mind you conceive of your ‘self’ as very limited, indeed. All based on the concepts through which you, and nobody else, define yourself.
Concepts are specifically defined and that is a rule of conceptuality. This rule states that anything that can be defined must, essentially, be limited and pinned down exclusively TO that very definition. The moment you assert, “this is an apple,” it’s a done deal and it can’t be break free of the mental properties that you apply, simply because you won't let it. You need it to be an "apple." You have limited it to its properties, based on your concept of "apple." Otherwise, it could be something else, but once you name it "apple," you have defined the properties it must conform to no matter who taught you the concept of "apple" in the first place (that teaching concept is referred to as "conditioning" and it's often used as an excuse for a whole slew of other concepts).
All of this applies to your concept of 'self' as well.
SELF-CONCEPT
It’s the same with the ‘self’ and although there are embodied "selves" (remember, 'body' is just another concept) that break limits (run 3 minute mile) it is always within well-defined parameters (your specifically defined concept of an embodied ‘self’ cannot run a 30 second mile because that's beyond your concept of self or even other selves).
You define all your concepts and, most significantly, your concept of ‘self’. But since you were not created as a concept, you will never understand who you really are (or answer the unanswered question) by relying on concepts. It just won’t work because it can change at the drop of a hat.
We cannot absolutely define God, as God transcends conceptual understanding, however, we do conceive of God (conceptualize or think up) in all kinds of crazy relative ways, just as we conceive of ourselves in crazy ways, but always within specific parameters. Thus, "you" cannot define who you are, as defined by God, because only God can define you that way (which may not be anything resembling a "you" that you could think of).
IDENTIFY AND STRIP
You can only explore who you are as defined by "you." Yet, you can go very far in understanding your self-concept and with each identifying and stripping away of concepts inherent to that definition, you actually add a little more freedom to your definition of ‘self,’ which is often heavily weighed down by too many concepts. For instance, the concept of "body" is a real burden for some folks, so they might wish to strip it or they could discard varying concepts of the body. You could completely do away with the concept of "fat," which is only conceptualized in comparison to "skinny," so both concepts could be discarded (which would certainly change the rules of the dieting game!)
However, as you strip away limited concept after limited concept, you will eventually get to a point were you can go no further. There are many "ancient masters" who claimed to have gone that far and although the truth of many of these claims is suspect, I see no reason why it couldn't happen. The problem is that some felt that by doing this they were winners and the game was over and obviously, the very fact that we play here now, contradicts a winner having ever ended the game.
Nevertheless, at that point of non-conceptuality, you no longer need do anything more except discard the final concept of 'self' (whatever that might be) and that would completely dissolve how you conceptually define your ‘self’ and the unanswered question will dissolve, along with "you," as finally answered. But, of course, that would make you a winner and the game would be over and many bright minds seem to play such a game.
However, at the end of concepts something happens (well, not really “happens” because that would be a concept of time). You then begin to play a new game called "non-conceptuality," which cannot be conceptually understood, suffice it to say that it cannot be comprehended by a mind distracted by the game of conceptualizing a ‘self’ in a ‘world.’ Nevertheless, I have reason to believe that such a game exists.
However, note that I expect that you reject these rules as I conceive of them. Feel free to add some of your own since there can be no winners in this game, but the game must go on. I recognize all this might be difficult to follow, but try not to take all this to serious. Games should never be taken seriously and that's why they're called "games."
The question I often have with all these outlandishly expensive “awakening” programs is: if I don’t get "awakened," can I get my money back!?
Like here and here. Or, better yet, how about this one here. Or how about this one with the guy who talks to God.
Does “awakening” come with a warranty? My refrigerator did.
Make no mistake, based on the world's terms, once you pay money, you have engaged in a business transaction. If I pay hundreds of dollars to receive this “product” shouldn’t I at least get a one year warranty? (let’s not deny that the ‘experience’ is the product) So, if for some reason my “awakening” becomes non-operational, shouldn’t I receive a refund or get a duplicate “awakening,” free of charge?
I got a feeling the economic collapse is gonna take a big bite outa the “awakening” business. I mean, look at those prices! So if I’m unemployed or on welfare, then “awakening” is certainly NOT in the budget
The absurdity of this is so utterly transparent that I often wonder why these “awakened” teachers fail to see it. Ironically, the game of “awakening” has really only one rule and that is that you NOT be "awakened," otherwise, you can’t play.
“Diane Hamilton is one of the top spiritual teachers in the world. With a master's degree in contemplative psychology from Naropa Institute, a degree in Feminist Studies from Stanford, and as a senior Zen student of Genpo Roshi and a senior teacher at Integral Spiritual Center, she has been helping other awaken to the power of the now moment for many years.” (here’s the link. unfortunately you gotta be “member-ized” to see this ad)
Wow! Looks like Diane is a fat cat in the awakening business. I find it interesting that most of the “top spiritual seekers in the world” often teach that the intellect cannot “take you there,” yet they advertise austere intellectual credentials, like “masters degree in contemplative psychology."
Not only is Diane a “senior Zen Student” but she is a “senior teacher at integral.” Obviously, I ain’t paying for no junior teachers! If I pay the big bucks you can be sure, bargain shopper that I am, I demand ONLY “senior” teachers.
IF IT'S ALL ABOUT "BE HERE NOW," THEN THE TEACHER IS THERE NOW.
Since you “manifest” the teacher, you can be sure that any teacher that comes to you through glitzy marketing productions is a teacher of your ego. The teacher that denies teaching, or doesn't even know their teaching, IS the teacher. But you only learn that after years of sitting in the "classroom" that you didn't even know you were IN.
I ‘found’ my teacher about 14 years ago. She was teaching lots of other students besides me and this urked me to no end.
So I quickly married her.
The problem is that I was looking all over the place and paying big bucks to sit at the feet of other teachers. It took me almost a decade to FULLY realize that the teacher was in my own house (not that I don’t pay big bucks for this one, too - figuratively speaking). It seems that, although I always sensed it, I resisted the idea that she could teach me anything. You know how I finally knew she was my teacher and everything I needed to get I could get from her? She told me that I was her teacher and that it took her almost a decade to realize the same thing. HA! Go figure.
Obviously, if this makes no sense, then clearly you are not yet "awakened"!
Does morality aid you in repressing your baser instincts? Does your religious creed assist you in being a better citizen by inhibiting your primitive drives and instincts? Obviously, this is good, however, the problem is that you may be repressing more than you think.
According to Freud, the ego is primarily concerned with thwarting primitive sex and aggression impulses and drives through various psychological defense mechanisms. This is advantageous to society because if the ego did not repress or defend against our primitive, sexual and aggressive impulses, civilization as we know it, would basically not exist.
However, the ego tends to obstruct not only unconscious primitive impulses, but also super-conscious or Deep Spirit impulses as well. Many of the ancient wisdom traditions claim that super-conscious impulses are more primordial than our most primitive instincts and drives because they existed prior to birth of the physical body. Deep Spirit impulses exist outside the bounds of time and originate from a non-empirical Source that does not participate in your perceived physical reality. This is based on centuries of wisdom traditions and the reports of theoretical or quantum physics are starting to correlate with those ancient traditions.
The ego interprets these Deep Spirit, or Higher impulses, ('Higher' meaning not concerned with the body) as threat and simply lumps them together and represses them into the unconscious along with threatening primitive bodily impulses.
Although both types of impulses are consigned to the nether regions of the unconscious, the Higher impulses are much more threatening to the ego-self and are therefore, repressed to the deepest layers of the unconscious. Thus, we have a collective and individual tendency to acknowledge the existence of our unconscious primitive instincts, yet seem completely oblivious to the instinctual drives of a Higher Self. This is because the consequences to the ego for cutting-off primitive impulses pale in comparison to the consequences for allowing consciousness of Deep Spirit impulses.
Although these Higher impulses may be apparent in random acts of kindness, or in courageous altruistic acts ("a selfless concern for the welfare of others") in which individuals risk their own lives to save others that they have no connection with. It is interesting that usually only in episodes of extreme fear, does the ego fail to restrict the unconscious Deep Spirit impulses. Maybe this is why God is more easily found in “prisons cells and foxholes.”
More often, we learn of individuals who perform some “evil” primitive deed as their ego allows primitive sex or aggression impulses to pass through into the conscious mind to be acted out in the world. Some even cultivate such primitive impulses and live as deviants or criminals all their life.
Yet, less often do we learn of those who have cultivated a continuous correspondence with Deep Spirit impulses within the depths of the unconscious. In the few times when this has occurred, we have come to refer to these individuals as “spiritual masters,” with names like Christ or Buddha. This is because, from their teachings that originate through correspondence with Deep Spirit, we tend to resonate with the message, no matter how unrealistic, and consider it Truth. Although the conscious mind fails to understand why it resonates with information that often, on face value, seems strange and ridiculous, many often devote their lives to following the teachings of these "masters."
We are only barely aware of these super-conscious impulses that have been resigned to the deepest levels of our own unconscious. Nevertheless, although we may resist deeper Truth, as proclaimed by the masters, we can never avoid it completely, because it is always within us and we can never be without it. The ego resists these super-conscious impulses…
… through psychological inhibition or egoic defense mechanisms. We simply inhibit Deep Spirit impulses the same as we inhibit primitive physical impulses. Both are fearful and threatening to the ego. However, Deep Spirit is more threatening since it signifies an eventual end to the ego. Essentially, society requires that the primitive impulses be repressed and inhibited in order to maintain social order.
However, our eventual ‘awakening’ requires that the super-conscious impulses be allowed access to consciousness and no longer be inhibited. This dual function of the mind tends to result in a great deal of fear and confusion for the ego.
So how do we differentiate between repressing primitive, as opposed to super-conscious, impulses? In the answer lies a paradox, since it IS the super-conscious impulses that will guide that differentiating.
Somewhere along your path to awakening (which started at birth), the super-conscious impulses have frequently escaped inhibition. This is comparable to the times when primitive physical impulses have tended to rise-up from the unconscious to appear in consciousness and this usually occurs in relation to sex or aggression, but is quickly inhibited by the ever vigilant ego. If we act out primitive physical impulses, this can result in guilt or remorse and the reinforcing self-directive to increase repression or inhibition to avoid the potential for future acting-out of the primitive.
Yet, when super-conscious impulses appear in consciousness, no matter how briefly, there is the desire to prolong or even renew the impulse. Yet, this prolonging becomes very frightening to the ego that has no correspondence with Deep Spirit and can only fear what it does not know and what it inaccurately believes rejects IT (contrary to the fact that Deep Spirit is unaware of ego and actually does not reject anything).
The appearance of Deep Spirit impulsesin consciousness may actually be a catalyst for life long spiritual seeking. This is because impulses from this Source tend to create an experience much deeper and protracted than any physical pleasures that might be interpreted from primitive impulses. All of this seems rather serendipitous, as there is no real way to recall episodes when the super-conscious impulses, long repressed in the unconscious, were finally allowed to be experienced. This is because upon experiencing super-conscious impulses, the ego tends to immediately interpret these experiences in ways that allow ego to make sense of them (the "dumb-down" effect). Obviously, this distorts and skews the experience, as the ego tends to correlate and compare these experiences with normal empirical world experiences.
Yes, the concept of "everyday enlightenment" does appear to be highly plausible. The problem is the ego's need to repress the enlightenment or super-conscious impulse.
One of the most famous Freudian defense mechanisms is referred to as “Reaction Formation.” Reaction Formation is when we feel an impulse to do something and judge it as undesirable and then move in the complete opposite direction than what the impulse signifies.
“An interesting example of reaction formation is one displayed by men who are afraid of any signs of softness, which they equate with femininity, in their makeup. They try to cover up their feminine tendencies by being especially hard and masculine. As a result they become caricatures of masculinity rather than real men.” Or “A mother who is afraid to admit [to herself] that she resents her children, may interfere so much in their lives, under the pretext of being concerned about their welfare and safety, that her over protection is really a form of punishment” (“A Primer of Freudian Psychology” Calvin S Hall, 1979, p.93).
All of our lives we are experiencing super-conscious impulses, the same as primitive human impulses. Yet, the ego, so adept at defending itself against unwanted impulses, represses the primitive impulses that could harm us, but alsothe Deep Spirit impulses that could save us.
Therefore, it becomes imperative that we dis-inhibit and terminate our repression of super-conscious impulses, but still deny conscious access to primitive bodily impulses.
Many believe that accessing Deep Spirit impulses requires a teacher in the world to guide us to experiencing these super-conscious impulses, which have been repressed for so long in the unconscious.
However, the paradox is that you cannot recognize and meet the teacher of the super-conscious, without Deep Spirit impulses informing and guiding youto that teacher. Otherwise, the teachings are only babble to the uninformed mind and the teacher is rejected.
You actually teach yourself....
...Yet, the ego recognizes that if you were to access Deep Spirit impulses on your own, you would quickly learn that you have no use for the ego. Therefore, the ego convinces you that you are much too weak and feeble to learn of Deep Spiriton your own and therefore, you must be taught from someone more wise and knowing than your ‘self.’ This is a delaying tactic.
Although you can and will learn from a teacher, and many do (since there is an inherent connective-unity making student and teacher of ONE MIND) this merely delays accessing the Truth in you, by requiring a mediator who must teach you techniques and methods of accessing the deepest regions of your own unconscious through use of the teacher's correspondence with those deepest regions.
Nevertheless, many will go “within,’ completely on their own.
They will have learned what I write about, long before this writing and have been living lives directed and informed totally through Deep Spirit impulses. They will write books, create blogs, talk with others, etc, etc, to incite the Deep Spirit impulses of others and build upon their own correspondence "within."
This will slowly generate a Deep SpiritMovement in which many will interact with the world from Deep Spirit and nothing else. Some will be conscious of the origin of this new and improved interacting, while other will not know why, but will interact from those impulses anyway, simply because it feels unmistakeably right.
This is referred to as “the evolution of collective consciousness”...
... and it requires that everyone participate and it is certain that everyone will participate eventually. For many, 'time' is still a factor. The Truth of Deep Spirit is an equality that excludes nothing, but requires everything join it for it to be Truth.
Of course, since it is Truth, and Truth is always certain and never uncertain, everyone must already be participating, although their egos refuse to inform them of that participation. Therefore, even though some don’t know it yet, they joined the movement a long time ago!
The world is awash in self-development practices. These numerous techniques and practices seek to increase egoic "self-esteem," but inadvertently reinforce the ego's fear of another part of mind, which it senses, but can never know. This part holds out the ultimate reward of a complete absence of ALL fear and thus, complete Awakening.
Birth was necessary in order to assert an egoic beginning and so, from an egoic perspective, you most certainly were born. This is because separate from an ego you are timeless and there is a part of your mind that attests to this. However, the ego is bound to time and therefore, it was necessary to assert a beginning for it to exist. There must be a physical birth or a beginning, since we obviously would not assert that an ego existed before time because the ego has no idea of timelessness.
This accounts for the "creation" myth as propagated through various cultural civilizations. Egoic creationism involves the origination of time (and 'space,' thrown in for good measure) through the Christian symbolism of eating the "fruit of the tree of knowledge." This myth emphasizes the origin of 'knowledge' bounded and limited by "time," which of course is not knowledge whatsoever. This is because it is a 'knowing' that is not infinite and thus, cannot (and still fails to) save or free humanity (as One) from its horrendous conditions which actually originated from this knowledge. It is useless knowledge and you need simply look around you at the world to see its failure.
This poses a distinct problem for ego-mind, in that the ego recognizes that there is a part of the mind that exists but was NEVER BORN. Therefore, the ego recognizes that there is another part of 'you' that is superior to itself, because no matter how much the ego denies this fact, it does recognize that time restricts its ability to carry out its various plans and projects, which seeks only to ASSERT itself as real.
Thus, no matter what the ego does to uphold and reinforce itself as real, amidst a belief in other egos, it still recognizes that there is another part of your mind that is superior to it and NOT limited in anyway by time. And for the ego, no matter how it attempts to spin this fact, that REALLY SUCKS!
SELF-ESTEEM
No matter what you do to assert the constantly changing properties of your egoic mind; no matter what manner of self-esteem projects and goals you perform to enhance you ego, self-esteem must always elude you simply because ego recognizes that there is another part of mind that is limitless in power and strength and therefore, it is knowledge free from all limitation.
Self-esteem, in egoic terms, is simply an egoic-mind that can better conform actions and behaviors of the body to what the "world" dictates as superior functioning. The best you can do in your efforts to improve or increase "self-esteem" is to mold and shape your ego to be less antagonistic to what it defines as 'reality.' Yet, by doing so, you only deny that there is part of your mind that is unconcerned with reality but wholly concerned with Truth. But because reality, as perceived, changes consistently, self-esteem is as elusive as the wind. On the other hand, Deep Spirit is not bound by the whimsical properties found in reality, because it has no knowledge of what you define as your "reality" and acknowledges only what is 'outside' time.
Examine all the self-development websites and you will see that generally they tend to coincide with advances in the science of psychology. However, if you look deeply at the purpose of psychology, as defined through "psychotherapeutic models," that purpose is merely to improve "functioning" in the world, based on the conditions as dictated by the world(norms, laws, rules, restrictions, mores, etc.).
This is your prison and psychology will assist in full adjustment and adaptation, simply by teaching you how to become less antagonistic to the walls and get along better with the other inmates. Those who exhibit good behavior will be deemed as appropriate models of "self-esteem."
Psychology does not, and in fact, cannot, acknowledge that there is a part of your mind that supersedes the egoic-self and therefore, should be the ultimate goal of any model of achieving increased "self-esteem." This is because to do so would completely annihilate the science of psychology which is based solely on knowledge that conforms exclusively to 'time.' Deep Spirit conforms to no such conditions and so, self-esteem, in ego terms, has absolutely no meaning whatsoever, and is a useless endeavor destined to fail in providing that which the world proclaims will save you.
True self-esteem is perfect equality...
...which would be timeless since there can be no distinctive levels available outside the bounds of time. Time demands levels and degrees and this is why egoic mind looks for comparisons to uphold its belief in good "self-esteem." Egoic self-esteem demands that you compare yourself, measurably, through acknowledging levels of superiority as demonstrated or exhibited by other egoic minds, based on agreement as to the best functioning one could attain against the conditions the world teaches are REAL. Yet, if all egoic minds are doing the same comparisons, this is like the blind leading the blind.
Now we have the issue of the ego's sensing that there is another, more superior, part of mind that has essentially REJECTED THE EGO (no wonder we're all primarily depressed!) However, this Deep Spirit part of mind does not attack or reject the ego, simply because it does not recognize that the ego even exists.
This is because, from Deep Spirit, which is timeless, there can be no part of mind that is in time. This is why there is no need to denigrate and attack the ego, as many spiritual ideologies attempt to do through transcendent practices, because it's simply not there and all your attacking can do is assert the NON-REAL as real.
Essentially, although Deep Spirit does not correspond with Ego, nor ego with Deep Spirit, the ego recognizes something higher than or above it that it knows it cannot hope to attain or even compare to (and this is why it sticks to comparing itself with other egos). However, the mind is split and recognizes the two parts cannot be converged and essentially one must be let go of as the other is turned to with ever greater frequency.
This is the path to Deep Spirit. It does not rely on transcendence but transformation. A mind seeking transformation from ego to Deep Spirit does not attack ego through fear, resulting in egoic symptoms such as anger, anxiety, depression, guilt, etc, etc. This is because the mind realizes this only gives credence to ego or that which does not exist. Fear is completely absent from Deep Spirit and this path employs the recognition of the increasing absence of egoic fear as guidepost to an ever greater correspondence with Deep Spirit.
The only effective "self-development" strategies are those which seek to break with what the world teaches as "self-development." Not violently, but through ever greater recognition of the part of mind that is free of limitations and boundaries. There are no austere and esoteric practices, just a radical and uncompromising change in what part of the mind you get your facts from!
I would suggest you start actually talking with that part of the mind that knows no fear.
Even though people call me crazy... I do it all the time.
