EGO DYNAMICS: Hiding the Mind

Your ego fears abandonment and assumes that if I really knew you, I'd leave you. This is simply because the ego cannot deny that it is personally responsible for so many hateful and downright nasty thoughts and judgments. But also, the ego-self has no idea what the mind is and if it is truly locked away within your body like it's supposed to be.


Therefore, you can only give me so much of "you," while all else must be kept secret.

The ego relies primarily on separate bodies. It can't be too sure about the nature of 'mind.' It suspects that somehow thoughts may leave their source, since God made "the word" and "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us."

The mind is a suspicious entity to an ego and thus the ego is much more comfortable with bodies. It's very easy for you to doubt the security of your own mind.

The ego fears exposure. Somehow I might 'know' your thoughts and you might inadvertently expose the utter hatred that often lurks within your ego-self. The ego must insure that, even in those moments that you loathe me and wish me dead, this fact remain securely locked away with a smile upon your lips.

Because the ego believes it can never know the secret thoughts of others, it does not trust other egos and this distrust is the hallmark of even the most "loving" relationships.

Yet, although it seems that your mind is separate from other minds, tucked away in a skin-encapsulated body, there is the nagging doubt that somehow I might know more than you wish for me to know. You can't be sure, at least not with the certainty you have regarding the separation between bodies.

Are minds truly separate? The ego can never know.

Mind is such an obscure and nebulous 'thing.' It's so completely different from everything you have come to know through the mind. It has no time/space coordinates and sometimes it seems as if it doesn't exist at all. How often do you think about your "thinking" before you act, as opposed to automatically act from your thinking? Awareness of actions is so much simpler and, as they say, "actions speak louder than words." For the ego, actions are much more significant than thought and much easier to predict.

Because the ego does not trust the mind, it is careful of what it thinks. In fact, it must hide some of its thoughts even from itself. You must avoid certain thoughts or feelings because you never know who might discover the 'real you.' Maybe even God.

If even you don't know the real you, how can anyone else find you out. Therefore, your ego grants permission to deny your hatred. Not only must the body be kept from exposing your thoughts, but the mind must be cloaked as well.

It is important that you often hide your mind from yourself and this is where spirituality can come in handy. Spirituality can aid in creating psychological constructs for which to channel your hateful thoughts away from you. Now the spiritual "you" can split off from the egoic "you," in denying the hell you are capable of creating for yourself and others. Unfortunately, this egoic attempt to escape the ego is destined to fail, simply because it is a hoax.

The ego IS you and "you" are an attempt to escape the unity of mind.


Deep down the ego suspects as much, but can't be certain. Nevertheless, it has no choice but to deny that we are unified only at the level of mind and no unity is possible for bodies. For why else would we have constructed an ego to maintain separation in the mistaken idea that only in our separation can we save our 'self.'

Your ego must avoid this truth of unified mind at all costs. It struggles mightily to distract from this truth, which demands that your separate body be more true than your unified mind. Therefore, we rely almost exclusively on physical joining and sex becomes the most holy and sacred of all engagements. Mind cannot attack mind. However, bodies can attack and, for the ego, this makes the body more important than the mind.

In this way we can remain free of the truth discovered through deep and intimate engagements realized through minds. Now the truth of what we are rests solely on joined bodies and the forms that facilitate that joining. The closer you have allowed my body to come in proximity with yours, the more joined we may feel.

Now you can hate me with your mind, but as long as we join bodies, I will never know.

Is it any wonder we feel so deeply alone.