Scripted Engagments

In every relationship there is the desire for an openness through which to be revealed. You live unrevealed and desire to open yourself to others because you wish for “you” to be known (this is precisely how you know your 'self'). Yet, this desire tends to compete with the desire to avoid the risk of being 'known.' The psychological self lives in a fragile state of vigilance against harm and this impedes full disclosure.

Most of your actions are tightly scripted and most scripted interactions tend to protect against disclosing your 'self.' If you stick to the script, what could be revealed; how could you be “surprised’ by what you expect?

Sometimes even your most “loving” relationships can become your most scripted interactions. Over time, scripts replace openness and we become mutually oppressed by one another in the stagnancy of trained responses.

There is no longer the desire to learn of one another, to seek intimacy or any depth of mutual understanding. Every response is predicted and prepared for and becomes our expected role. Our desire for openness is replaced by vigilance against the discomfort of fear.

There is no intimacy in expectation. When your scripted response is expected, you will react as usual to my reaction as I react as usual to yours and you to me, on and on in the circularity of expectation.
There is comfort in the safety of expectation. Relationships scripted by expectation are finite games in which players compete for the prize of control and power. Control stifles openness and is the antithesis of openness and intimacy. Control promotes competition and competing opponents do not reveal themselves for fear of losing the game.

Possibly, God is waiting to be revealed in the depths of intimacy and maybe that's your "true self." If this is true, then is it any wonder why God seems to remain a secret to so many? It seems so few are fearless enough to risk it. But if God is this “unified oneness” we hear talked of so frequently, why then would we expect to seek it alone?

Make no mistake, the truly engaged love the world because they were brought to that truth through another.

Anyone will do.

“If you do not see God in the next person you see, you need look no further.” - Gandhi

(many thanks to Jarett for the Gandhi quote)