Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Civilized Egocentrica Mammalia...


Indeed, human egocentrica mammalia loves his 'civilization.' Even though it has extracted from his mind any semblance of authentic existence, he wouldn't have it any other way than to be "civilized." Joy and wonder are not necessary, when civilization provides automobiles, HD TV's and toilets.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

What Happens Next, Just Fooking Happens Next...




I have no idea what will happen next.

Correction. I have many ideas of what will happen next, but I lack the care and concern as to what will happen next, which removes me from demanding what happens next conform to my ideas of what happens next and, hence, what happens next, just fooking happens, exactly as it always does.
Your life has always been fooking happening, regardless of your attempts to make it conform to your ideas of what happens next, because what happens next always just fooking happens. 
In addition, I also realize that what happens next had to happen next, based on what happened before, and how my brain is hard-wired to deal with what happened before and, subsequently, with what will happen next, and that specific hard-wiring was constructed in my formative yrs, in which I was allowed no choice in what experiences impacted my brain and shaped my neuro-circuitry to respond to what happens next, but those un-chosen experiences of early childhood, without doubt, have brought me, over many years, to what happens next, because what happens next requires a response, and I will respond to what happens next as I must, based on the trillions of miles of neural-dendritic connections in my brain, formatted by what happened before and completely influencing how I will respond to what happens next.
What happens next is guaranteed by what happened before. I have no freedom from this because, in this, is my freedom. It is ultimately the refusal to surrender to the predetermined causal order that is the foundation of all suffering. But, that has to happen and has happened exactly as it must since human egocentrica mammalia happened to construct a neuro-circuit that made him ‘think’ he could actually choose what happened next, based on an autonomous WILL free from the influence of everything in the universe that happened before. 
Thinking it could be other than it obviously is, in the moment it obviously is, incarcerates me in a future based on a past wired up in my grey matter, causing me to lose the freedom of this moment as it happens next. But, even that momentary incarceration, demanding what happens NOT happen, must happen exactly as it does, else it would not happen.

Make no mistake, that moment that you demand happen other than as it is happening...you are there, in that moment, and nowhere else should you be, but in that moment of suffering.

And so I sit here, deep in the throes of a despotic depression, completely accepting that this is what is happening, without rejecting what is happening, as it is happening, or demanding something other than what is happening to happen.
Why would you want what is happening to be other than what is happening, when you realize that what is happening had to happen exactly as it now happens? However, if you believe you have a “free” choice in what happens, then you’re fooked (but not really, cause you’re supposed to be fooked, or else you wouldn’t be).
How is it that I was once neurally hard-wired to believe that something other than what is happening should be happening? I no longer think that, so when did those circuits get fried?  I have no idea when that sheit happened, but clearly, it happened, else they would not have been fried.

I have no desire to have happen other what is happening and in my allowing this to happen, as it happens, I am absolutely engulfed in complete freedom, because there is NO thought that this should NOT be as it is if, in fact, it is what it is, otherwise, it would be something different than it is (well, not exactly accurate. First I go, "damn! why is this sheit happening," and then the new circuit kicks in with, "but shiet happens" and I think, "oh right!!")
If the next thought to happen should be to blow my brains out with a gun, why would I reject that happening as something that should not happen?
Many years ago I used to have those thoughts happen (suicidal ideation), but that was before I encountered a “self” that does not seek to control what happens next (and I have no flippin' idea how that "self" happened). Nevertheless, if I should again have those thoughts happen, to the point of actually acting on those thoughts, which would have to happen or they wouldn’t, why should I reject those thoughts as happening exactly as they must happen, requiring I behaviorally conform to those thoughts and blow my flippin’ brains out?

The “idea” that what happens should NOT happen is hard-wired and requires a great deal of deconstruction, or frying of the motherboard, to neutralize. Nevertheless, even that can only happen as it happens and any attempt to make it happen before it’s supposed to happen, is destined to fail, until it’s supposed to succeed.

I must admit, there is a deep peace in letting sheit happen as it happens, because it always is what it is and it could never be other than what it is or it would be.

Artwork by LaraFairie - "Faceless Composition"

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

No One Is Ever Coming To Stay...



My thanks to a new friend...

Monday, October 20, 2014

The Arousal Addiction of Human Egocentrica Mammalia



The post-modern human egocentrica mammalian is steadily drowning in his need for constant arousal, an addiction that intensifies with each passing year, requiring ever greater levels of mindless consumption.

The growing magnitude of this arousal can only result in the consumption of, not only external resources, but the very neuro-circuits that give psychological reality to all his fictional, made-up, conjured out of thin air, “lifestyles,” since he is clearly devolving into varied and numerous states of mental illness, that are the obvious result of his fictions. The tangled subconscious neuro-circuitry, tightly packed between his ears, simply cannot handle his delusional ideas of reality and are rebelling en masse.

Essentially, he is gradually being neurologically sucked up into his own maladaptive mind games, and self-actualizing fantasies, to a 'tipping point,' resulting in mass confusion over his chronically contradictory and competing “value systems,’ in which he can only experience a neuro-circuit overload, or advanced forms of neuro-chemically based mental disorders. A hunter-gatherer brain, which we still have, cannot comfortably accommodate daily sado-masochistic anal sex fantasies, without experiencing...symptoms.

As opposed to his ancestors, post-modern egocentrica mammalia is afflicted with the potential for chronic “boredom,” which must be avoided at all costs, for if egocentrica mammalia were to remain mired in his self-actualizing boredom for any length of time, he would eventually come face to face with the abject pointlessness of his daily existence and all the banal, insipid everyday actions he feels compelled to perform to deny his pointlessness.

Hence, because of centuries of boredom avoidance, he has gradually developed an arousal addiction, which needs ever greater magnitudes of meaningless distraction to escape the awareness of the empty nihilism of his emptiness. 

Yet, he cannot, regardless of his attempts, through pointless ideologies and systems of belief, escape the emptiness of his hard-wired subconscious (although he continually claims he has free-will), which, regardless of his chronic daily use of synthetic medications, results in major depression, social anxiety, bipolar disorder, panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc., etc, etc., which all point to a mind-numbing existential anxiety that resists all his attempts to alleviate, and only works to magnify his complete lack of free-will. What possible free-will can exist in socially induced mental illness?

There was a time when human egocentrica used his big fat frontal lobe to question his existence, as opposed to the trivial uses he engages today to maintain and continually stimulate the dopamine receptors (motivation), requiring ever greater levels of motivating stimulation to avoid meaninglessness, yet, which his daily behaviors can only serve to support and reinforce.
If the day to day behaviors your society deems normal, only induce chronic depression, then you have no other alternative than to ingest the “medications” necessary to continue to plod along with that social order.
There was a time when egocentrica mammalians studied philosophy, ethics and morality and these subjects were the chief preoccupation of any “higher education.” Great thinkers were lauded as exceptional and admired for the products their grey matter produced. Now they are simply ignored or marginalized as useless studies, substituted by the endless cornucopia of entertaining drivel that mesmerizes egocentrica mammalia and holds him in a willing suspension of disbelief over the fact that his existence is totally pointless.

Post-modern human egocentrica mammalia lives in a time when thinking deeply about his existence actually impairs his ability to comfortably exist and, except for a select few, human egocentrica mammalians are virtually compelled to seek ever greater levels of entertaining novelty, which they receive through their sexual paraphilias, internet porn, object fetishism, celebrity worship, insipid entertainment, etc., and the seemingly infinite ways they attend to their own self-adoring actualization, fully employing “mirror neurons” which allows them to replicate themselves through others, thereby, sucking dry any degree of personal authenticity that they might achieve, if they had any motivation to do so, except the dopamine receptors are literally exhausted by the mindless cacophony of their daily existence.

Their actions are the same, their words are the same and the thoughts that their brains produce consistently result in behaviors that mirror the actions of a shallow collective, but they adamantly proclaim that they are ‘free.’ From cave paintings demonstrating the magic of discovery, they now employ smart phones as a means of magnifying and reinforcing their blatant mass stupidity.

Their fear of boredom is completely warranted however, since truly becoming oriented to the arid and banal state of their empty existence would no doubt be death defying, and for human egocentrica mammalia, death demands every means of denial at his disposal.

From birth, the absurd socialization of human egocentrica mammalia, to fictional renditions of daily living, provides the experience of death long before the actual event overtakes him, regardless of his attempts to ‘conceptualize’ the conditioned experience as actually “living.”

His self-actualizing goals demand consistent mind-numbing preparation, planning and organization, since every goal, by its nature, must deny the fact that the hand of the universe is up his ass, moving his lips and directing his head to and fro. Yet he believes, with all his metaphoric heart, that he’s a volitional, free-willed, master of him ‘self’ and has control over his dominion, or brain, which is where he exists and nowhere else.

Nevertheless, his extermination seems entirely assured, as he has entirely lost the capacity to ‘be’ (an aspect of existence clearly evidenced everywhere else in the universe, that allowed him to exist in the first place) substituted by an enduring chronic desire to be ‘something,’ as a means of perpetually denying the concrete fact that he is not separate from a natural causal order that has historically demonstrated indifference to all the ‘somethings’  he wants to ‘be’ and couldn’t give a rat’s arse about his career aspirations or his mind consuming goals for an early “retirement.”

Yet, ironically, and paradoxically, it does appear that the actual purpose of his existence, as clearly ordained by a predetermined causal order, that has facilitated the unfolding of a manifest universe, is to rebel against his actual nothingness by creating fictional somethingness to avoid the truth of his nothingness.

Now why the fook would the causal order predetermine human egocntrica mammalia to ‘think’ it was separate and completely free from the dictates of an unfolding causal order that nothing else in the manifest natural world even slightly considers itself separate from?

And why is it that the only way human egoncetrica mammalia can actually experience total freedom is by allowing itself to experience complete containment and incarceration by that predetermined causal order?

Fook if I know….

Artwork by Cristiano Siqueira


Friday, October 3, 2014

The End of the Free-Will Paradigm



In your formative years “you” were hastily indoctrinated into a “free-will" paradigm of "personal responsibility," and your ego-centered, cranial-based existence (all experience occurs in the brain) is now virtually suffocating in an ocean of 'choices,' made and to be made (but you continue to proclaim you are "free"). As you advanced in age, so did the oppressive burden of making "right" choices, in order to finally experience "happiness," even though a great many of your choices have only induced suffering and this demands an ever greater attentiveness to making the 'right' choices.

Free-will magically grants you "personal responsibility” and dumps a heaping sheit-load of guilt on "you" for choices made in the past that turned out to be miserably "wrong" in the future and, as a result, you live in a chronic state of anxious contraction about the choices you must make as a means of sculpting your precious future because, as you righteously proclaim, this is "my life" (as if you were completely unfettered and non-originated from the predetermined causal order of space and time). You had absolutely no choice in your birth, nor will you have a choice in your death, so why the fook would it matter what you choose in-between? Does the universe care about your self-esteem or career choices?

Such are the results of the "free-will" paradigm. A paradigm that is patently false (and can easily be observed as such through a  basic analysis of the variables that have determined your current life trajectory). Nevertheless, 99 and 44/100 percent of human egocentrica mammalians wholeheartedly endorse free-will, without question and without doubt, and conduct their every waking moment on free-will being undeniably true, resulting in a pandemic of depressed zombies, chronically rejecting what is as is and, year after year, slogging through mind-numbing routines of abject pointlessness, which they have no choice in, but believing that things should be different than they are, which they cannot possibly be else they would be, they suffer as they inevitably must.

They live woefully miserable lives in constant rejection of the variables currently representing their own personal “life.” They are consistently gritting and grinding over “personal responsibility” and go though numerous years of "education" to painstakingly develop the skills of making ‘right choices,’ which, subsequently, and regardless of their esteemed education, they consistently fail to make anyway, over and over, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

This results in 'neurological exhaustion,' requiring constant, moment to moment, distraction in finding ways to avoid their own fooking minds (which the spiritual-entertainment industry makes billions on) and the thoughts that arise, denying that they have NO "personal responsibility" for those thoughts (thoughts that are clearly victim to a free-will paradigm of 'personal selection regardless of social conditioning and outside influence) and they do ALL of this because they have no choice.

Yet, what if, from birth, you were indoctrinated into a paradigm absent free-will and contingent on a predetermined universe in which nothing was separate from an infinite unfolding causal order and that every choice made had to be made exactly as it was made or it would NOT have ever been made at all?

How would "you" conduct your life if you knew it was predetermined to unfold exactly as it did and does? Would it matter what you do, if what you did had to be done exactly as you did it, in each and every moment, or it would not have been done? What type of 'self' would exist absent free-will? Could a "self" absent free-will even exist? What would that 'self' be like? How would you think, and react to your thoughts, if you knew you were not responsible for any of them? Would you sit around moaning that, since "I'm not a 'self' that makes choices free of influence, I'm NOT gonna do a fooking thing at all"? Or would knowing that you are not separate from an infinitely unfolding predetermined causal order result in your deeply engaging whatever unfolded before your eyes and completely without fear? Would the concepts of "right" or "wrong," "good" or "bad" totally cease to exist in human discourse?

What if we raised children to believe the fact that they had NO personal responsibility for what arose between their ears, since 86 billion neurons, and billions of miles of dendritic connections, fueled by chemical processes in trillions of synapses, are obviously outside their capacity to control? How would we 'choose' to teach them if they had no 'personal responsibility' for their actions?

There are a few who currently live under such auspices. They have no anxiety regarding the future and no guilt of the past. They tend to exist in a state of "surprise" over what unfolds before them and the individual ‘choices’ made based on that unfolding (which is, of course, part of that predetermined causal order).

They have not developed tendencies to reject reality, as that which is not wanted, while another reality would be more suitable to their tastes. Momentarily, they may not like what has unfolded but, nevertheless, they accept the emergent variables as inevitable and adapt accordingly.

They see very clearly that they are not separate from the whole timeless tapestry of a predetermined causal order, and every choice made being part of that timeless unfolding, and in that understanding they experience absolute freedom.

As a result, they tend to play infinitely in a finite world....